Thursday: 110 Grille with A., very hot!
Apr. 13th, 2023 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walkitoutIt got up for sure into the high 80s, and our porch thermometer was 91 at one point. Ugh. It’s only April. It was dry, and I did walk with M., altho I kinda regret it. She volunteers in the morning on Thursday, so we went at 1 pm, and that is NOT a good time for me to be out in the sun.
I took A. out to dinner at 110 Grille and we stopped at Roche Bros on the way home to buy a few things and also fake ice cream. But we were still pretty full from dinner, so it’ll keep in the freezer until we feel a yearning for it.
I had a nice phone call with J.
I have been having all sorts of complicated and difficult to articulate thoughts. I frequently summarize this kind of thinking as, hug the people you love and tell them you love them.
I feel like this needs an addendum tho. If you want or need something from someone else, _tell them_. Ask for it. Negotiate for it. Demand it. Issue an ultimatum. Whatever. Try not to muddy the waters with things that would be “reasonable” to want or need. Relationships do not thrive when one person wants something so badly from the other person or the relationship or whatever that it curdles and ultimately destroys their desire to be in the relationship … and for whatever reason, the other person has absolutely no idea that that desire exists or is that powerful. It may take more than _telling_, altho telling is a plausible start. This won’t change incompatibility; it won’t “fix” things. It’s kinda like compost for a relationship. Gross, underfoot, possibly smelly, and absolutely necessary for anything beautiful and tasty to grow.
I’ve known this for a long time about my own relationships. I’m starting to see much more sharply how generally true this particular observation / bit o’ advice actually is.
I took A. out to dinner at 110 Grille and we stopped at Roche Bros on the way home to buy a few things and also fake ice cream. But we were still pretty full from dinner, so it’ll keep in the freezer until we feel a yearning for it.
I had a nice phone call with J.
I have been having all sorts of complicated and difficult to articulate thoughts. I frequently summarize this kind of thinking as, hug the people you love and tell them you love them.
I feel like this needs an addendum tho. If you want or need something from someone else, _tell them_. Ask for it. Negotiate for it. Demand it. Issue an ultimatum. Whatever. Try not to muddy the waters with things that would be “reasonable” to want or need. Relationships do not thrive when one person wants something so badly from the other person or the relationship or whatever that it curdles and ultimately destroys their desire to be in the relationship … and for whatever reason, the other person has absolutely no idea that that desire exists or is that powerful. It may take more than _telling_, altho telling is a plausible start. This won’t change incompatibility; it won’t “fix” things. It’s kinda like compost for a relationship. Gross, underfoot, possibly smelly, and absolutely necessary for anything beautiful and tasty to grow.
I’ve known this for a long time about my own relationships. I’m starting to see much more sharply how generally true this particular observation / bit o’ advice actually is.