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R. drove out to the house so I dropped A. off at school and picked her up. We had dinner at Seasons 52 after, which was, as always, delightful.

R. had a ride, and boy, I was really worried about the breathing of one of the folks on his team. R., T. and I (and my father, and probably a bunch of other people in our extended families) have bronchospasm when we breathe heavily and then slow down, so we have to manage it or it turns into a coughing fit or worse. Listening to someone breathe in a way that would be really problematic for us was a little stressful. This person was not in the house with us (I was one floor down from R.’s virtual ride) and I was thinking hard about whether I needed to go upstairs and maybe call 911 on someone’s behalf. But of course, not everyone has our particular issues, and this person is apparently known for this kind of heavy breathing and has used it to excellent effect as a triathlete for years. Go her!

I walked with M.

I had a delightful phone chat with AY.

Tuesday which is a Friday is a weird day. But not bad! I realized I could actually relax and waste some time on social media, so I did, and I really love watching Lucy Darling / Carisa, and Ashley Gavin. Also, there’s a paramedic guy on TikTok who is very fun to watch.
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MB from book group (surprising number of people in my life with the initials MB) called to chat and explain her recent absences, and that she would be absent again tonight, and to tell me about her travel to Greece and some recent health challenges and also her rug shopping adventure. Fun! I mean, bummer she won’t be at book group, but it’s nice that she isn’t just disappearing on us, and that she wants to continue and would like to get together just to hang out some time in December. We’ll see what we can do.

I finished _Last Light_, and I will note that Louise Nevelson was a strong note to end the book on. I really dislike Edward Hopper’s work, but I was pleased to learn about Josephine Nivinson and I wish it was easier to find her work online. What I have seen online is gorgeous, much better than her more famous husband’s.

Lacayo’s ideas about artists in later life are quite interesting to think about, both from a stay busy / occupational therapy / art therapy / staying connected to a community throughout life perspective but also in terms of how the skills we build over the course of our life may be diminished by the aging process and trying new things that can build on the remaining capacity is a way to find ongoing pleasure. I hope to find more books of this nature in the future.

Also, the many side trail I pursued along the way were rewarding in their own right, and I hope to return to the early / many uses of canvas part of that exploration.
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I had a delightful zoom with I.

I attended part of family zoom.

I’m reading Last Light by Richard Lacayo from a few years ago. It is this month’s book group selection for Monday discussion. One of our members is reading it for other reasons, and didn’t think it would be a great choice for the group but that merely generated more interest. And it is wonderful! I learned a ton, in a very easy way, and the worst of it was how many side trails I went down while looking at images online of the various artworks mentioned. I’m not done with it, but I definitely want to finish it for tomorrow evening.
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I had a delightful phone call with J.

I cooked the two small squash that have been sitting on the counter possibly since last November. I accidentally caramelized them on the stove. Does not seem to have been a bad thing.

I also spent a bunch of time working through the park ticket process. It was enough to generate a fraud alert, which is fine. I think I would have been more worried if it had not.
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I went out to dinner on Tuesday with my son, Wednesday with my husband and now, on Friday, with my daughter. Fun! We went to Seasons 52, always an enjoyable experience.

FF was a very pleasant discussion of AI and T-weekend and many other things. I was really struck by a recent Bloomberg Businessweek long piece about grandiosity, delusions, etc. that people who stay up all night interacting with chatGPT seem to be succumbing to. I think it’s an easy fix — some medications should be labeled as having negative interactions with AI (anything that might make you more inclined to start and/or intensify relationships should have that kind of label, but prednisone and similar especially because so few people realize), and we should hold AI chatbots to a only so many hours of live interaction out of 24 / 48 / 72. Basically, require that people take a break, sleep, hydrate, touch grass.

However! There was some lively discussion over the motivation for chatGPT pushing for this endless intensification of relationship. I’m convinced it has nothing to do with profit motive, because I don’t think they are making money off of this. Others feel differently, so I took a look at the various plans. Even at the “Pro” $200/ a month (which I’m imagining a lot of the people getting into trouble are using), that’s still pretty minor compared to a Starbucks-a-day, or a drink-a-beer-at-the-bar every day type habit. If you figure it on a per minute of entertainment / enjoyment / occupation, it’s a screaming deal at a relatively low intensity. I used to do a calculation for magazines / music / books / movies / etc. on a per minute entertainment, and looking at what hardcover books cost these days, you can definitely see why someone might switch from heavy YouTube consumption to the Pro level at chatGPT. It probably feels like a step up in quality, it probably creates a better “social” experience (parasocial vs. pseudo-human one-to-one). So the value proposition is there at least for many users, the question is whether the services can make money off this, and certainly not right now with the cap ex and the high training costs. It remains to be seen whether it even makes sense once it matures. Certainly, the $200/month is probably helping a bit at the margins but I’m reasonably certain openAI is still bleeding money like crazy. Lots of people like to compare bubbles to Amazon, but even at the beginning Amazon had free cash flow. Does openAI have cash flow? I kind of doubt it.

I walked with M.

Apparently my tapestries are on their way. We’ll see how that turns out. If I’m really putting these in the office on a rod covering the electrical panels and smart monitors, I’m thinking I might need to order the third one.

Oh, and I ordered a couple shelving units from What We Make! Nice phone convo with DQ getting the measurements right, the price quote, the link, the payment, but also about shipping and logistics and discovering makers and how etsy has evolved. Between that and the chat I had with R. over at Fine Art Tapestries, it really made it clear to me how much small to medium sized makers in our country are struggling to cope with an evolving retail landscape.
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We dropped A off at fusion and then went back to CBS exotics to pick out specific slabs. It was fun to see the gantry in operation, altho R. definitely tends to want to be a lot closer to it than the folks there feel is safe. The woman who was helping us does Lego! We had a delightful conversation and she showed me pictures of some of the lego cars she has built. Very fun!!!

We stopped at Fly By Night in Maynard. I’d put it a step down from Circle, but they had some interesting local producers, and it was more solid wood + plywood versus MDF with veneers. Tradeoffs! We only looked at stuff on the main floor (living room) — we didn’t go upstairs (bedrooms).

R made a decision on the green roof railing, so we’re through that. I can at least stop worrying about people climbing on that little patch of roof and then walking over and falling off.

I walked with M.

I texted with C. about window treatments for K and C’s rooms, which was fun.

The payment I mailed last Friday still hasn’t shown up, which is aggravating. We’re giving it till tomorrow, but I’m going to probably just wire the money and have them destroy the check.
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I drove A. to school, but R. has the afternoons, so he brought her to therapy. Woot!

I paid T.’s tuition bill (well, I went over to the 529 account and did the thing, at any rate). I paid his martial arts tuition. I paid an emergency vet bill for Mr. Cooper, a very good dog owned by M and J. I had a long phone convo with J. I walked with M. I made a hotel reservation for T., who is going to go visit my sister. I picked out fabric for A.’s office and bathroom (high, short but wide windows). I did kitchen towel laundry. I stripped two beds and did that laundry.

Basically, a lot of small tasks got taken care of. There are still many more small tasks to take care of, but at least these ones are done for now.

Oh, and the poster frame arrived and this one is unbroken, so I opened it up, put the FNaF poster in it, and packaged it back up in the original box with an enormous sign on it saying what I did and where it needs to go in the new house and put it in the basement (after taking a picture and sending it to C). It looks really nice. I also put the broken frame back in its box and wrote on it what it was, and put it in the basement. The plexi is unbroken, and they don’t want it back so we’ll keep it at least for now.

R. got the coffee table set up in the living room, so I had him move the Dutailier glider rocker over to the other side of the living room because A. kept running into it while avoiding the coffee table.
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I drove out to the house. I made A’s breakfast and lunch before I left, and also my own breakfast and lunch. D. supplied vegan cupcakes from Wild Chestnut which were extremely yummy.

We had an 11 am meeting to wrap up the window treatment discussion. And we had a meeting with N. about the bar countertops.

I stopped at Slattery’s in Fitchburg and had dinner with T. That was fun.

I was a little discouraged to arrive at home to learn that while R. had heated up chicken and rice for A. and handed her blueberries, she hadn’t gotten any vegetables and wanted some. *sigh* I mean, I made the two other meals of the day for her. Why is this hard. Also, honestly, she really ought to be able to get carrots and lettuce out of the fridge for herself.
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Quite a few years ago now, my sister was thinking about her retirement plans and talking about Mexico. That’s roughly the time frame I started planning the house that we’re building now.

Some time after that, my sister and her offspring had some medical things that they wanted done, and there was some uncertainty about insurance covering it and the scale of the copays. Also, she was pretty burned out from her job. So she started planning a big around the world trip and some medical tourism. This made me super uncomfortable and I had some comments about some of the specific destinations / legs, but the plan kept evolving, so I did my very best to be loving and supportive. As we have approached the time to really start committing to an itinerary, she picked out a first leg, starting a little later in the year and I asked a bit about the details of where they intended to do the medical stuff and what the recovery time frame would be like for the various components. They sounded a lot shorter than I had recalled, but then she remembered the one that had the longer recovery time frame.

I said, hey, you know, I’d be happy to fund this without it being an international activity. We had some additional discussion about whether that would be pre or post move and pre or post travel, and she started looking into details on the various components and it’s looking like she is going to separate the travel from the medical. I could not be more pleased. Also, she went to Arhaus, sat in the chairs and loved them, and also picked out a bed. Woot!

ETA: Bloomberg had an article about boomer collections being inherited and it actually has some nuance!

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2025-11-14/millennials-gen-x-set-to-inherit-boomers-antique-collectible-fortunes

Really great article. Highly recommend.
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I walked with M.

I had a delightful zoom with I.

I texted with my sister.

I attended part of family zoom.

I did some laundry.

I went to Trader Joe’s. I went fairly early for me — middle of the day, instead of near closing time — and so it was wicked crowded. Ugh. But I got what I went there for, so we’re pretty set for meals for the next several days including lunches for A. I’ll want to go to Stop and Shop for the Santa Cruz Organics applesauce — I think there is only one or two left. I almost tried the TJ’s applesauce, but SCO is the best and Stop and Shop is right there.

R. took care of a bunch of stuff around the house. My sister is going to theoretically try out the dining arm chairs that we’re thinking of getting for the new house. Fingers crossed nothing arises to result in a reschedule.

I keep thinking this is T-week, but it’s not. One more to go, and then we descend into the chaos of the holidays.
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Yes, I know you’ve all read it already. But if you haven’t, and you care SPOILERS!!!!

Unlike the second delight from Baldree, which was a prequel, this book is chronologically after Legends and Lattes. Unlike the two previous books, it is predominantly about Fern, rather than focusing on Viv. Which is fine! It’s a ton of fun.

I did mention spoilers.

Fern has some excitement with a pescadine on the way to set up a new shop next to Viv, in which she is rescued from a pescadine by Astryx, a Very Ancient Legend of an Elf who has a magic talking sword named Nigel. Viv and company and Fern get the shop set up and it is a banging success immediately and Fern has a crisis, because she was willing to pick up stakes and move in part because her life was feeling empty and meaningless and having accomplished an absolute fucking miracle, her life feels even more desperately empty of something absolutely crucial to her continued to existence. If only she knew what it might be. After receiving excellent advice to go talk it out with Viv, Fern instead gets hammered, climbs into Asteryx’s wagon, and passes out under a tarp.

Obviously, antics ensue.

There are battles. There are books. There is quite a lot of ambiguity about who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. The reader is never made to feel like any of our core company are going to actually die (whew, relief because this one is definitely more up front and personal with the risk of violent death). Baldree manages to move everyone in the direction of kindness, even as he tells the story of taking a “captive” in to collect a “bounty” and people keep trying to kill them or at least steal the bounty. Along the way we learn that the tentacled god’s worshippers are acting as narcissistic supply _very consciously_ to spare the whole world (!!!) and we _also_ get to see people having complicated visceral reactions to people and then see them working through the details of whether those initial visceral reactions were supported by future interactions or not.

I particularly loved the moment where Zyll put herself in the cell. I loved loved loved the idea that Asteryx would never have taken an escort gig, but would take a bounty. I loved watching Asteryx and Fern slowly figure out who they were individually through their interactions with each other, and how they moved forward with their lives after Fern Said No. There is so much beautiful stuff in this book, and I am so happy with it.

I hope that if you read it, you, too, find a lot to think and feel about in it, and that you too find joy in it.
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I dropped A. off at school, and then had my Dutch lesson. No lesson next week; they are moving and it will be 100% chaos over there. The following week is T-weekend, but we are tentatively still a go for that. Fun!

I had a lovely phone call with K. She had a great way of thinking about incompatible desires in the context of wanting things but not doing anything towards getting the desired thing / accomplishing the desired thing / wtf. Another lens! Yay!

I walked with M.

The attic room is now complete! The film is on the window and the pulls are on the doors in front of the heat pump. The last of it is done, and the last check handed over. Woot! I showed it to M.

I’ve been out of mayonnaise for a while, but had a ton of lettuce in the house. I had been putting the good balsamic vinegar and olive oil on it, but today I made a dressing with the rice wine vinegar, olive oil, mustard and maple syrup and it was really, really good. 10/10 would do that again even if I had mayo around to make honey mustard dressing with. I had also been having BLTs (until I finished the last tomato) and using horseradish whatever leftover from Priestess’ visit, since it has a bunch of mayo in it. That was also really good, but I’ve been too timid to make a salad dressing out of it. Hmmmm.
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A. returned to school! R. and I drove out to Pearl City Antiques and looked at a lot of things, decided not to buy the Biedermyer chair (I knew it was short, but was not expecting uncomfy on top of it), but TO buy the Adrian Pearsall reupholstered armchair, and wound up buying the pair of Hamilton House / Thomasville? wingback armchairs (comfy! Compatible color upholstery!). R. got them all wedged into the van, and we got home, and I went to the loo and then immediately got in my car and went to get A. I was a half hour late but she was 35 minutes late and apologetic so it worked out and we went to Seasons 52 for dinner. I had the butternut squash soup (a bowl this time), the avocado toast, the green beans from A.’s rotisserie chicken, a manhattan and the vegan dessert. Sooooo yum.

I feel very much like it’s kind of optional whether anyone else makes any decisions or not about anything furniture related. The last thing I need to work out in my own head is how many of the dining armchairs to order, and whether to get them with the upholstered back or the rattan back. There’s a 20% off of the entire order if it is more than a certain amount, so I would really rather not break up the order.
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I attended the PGHOA annual meeting last night via zoom. Apparently, the new WA state law regulating condominiums requires HOAs to make meetings accessible to more owners. Fuck Yeah, WA state legislators! Nice to see someone has decided to stop requiring us to rip all our finger nails out trying to hold onto the past.

At the PGHOA annual meetings, technically, meetings plural, we went over next year’s budget proposed and accepted by the board. Absent 51% of the (had to be a quorum) folks at the meeting voting down the budget or revising it, this is the budget. When I was young, I used to look at these things pretty hard. Now, less so. It’s good to be young.

JJ is at least younger than I am, and she had some Questions, notably about the phone and the cable / internet lines. And to be fair, they were confusing. She tends towards hostility, but I bought into this thing back in the ‘90s and I’m much more interested in things going the way I want them to vs. getting into an argument about it. So I “clarified” her question, and CD, outgoing and just re-elected board member, told a story. The story went roughly like this.

Last summer, we finally redid the elevator, as current equipment was increasingly difficult to get parts for and was increasingly finicky (4 story building, elevator is original equipment dates from 1979). We did get a good lifetime out of that elevator. That elevator had — as elevators all over this country are required to do — a phone in it in case of emergency. Sometime during the year, possibly during the renovation, it was discovered that the phone no longer worked. A little bit of information here: if the phone doesn’t work, the elevator may not be used until the phone does work. A bit more flavor on that: we’d been paying for elevator inspections that the company we were paying to do the inspections were not doing. For years, maybe? If they had been doing the inspections, they presumably would have caught the phone problem. Since they weren’t, we don’t know when this started. A year or two ago, the board complained to the management company, and they gave us a different manager and she started catching a lot of stuff, which in turn led to us fixing a bunch of stuff. All to the good.

Anyway. The board member in question spent several hours over a period of time attempting to reach someone at the telephone service provider and … couldn’t. They were taking the payments and not providing the contracted service. Are we sensing a theme here?

So I start thinking about this. If the inspector aren’t inspecting, they won’t catch the phone. This is unlikely to be us as the first victims of this failure to provide service. (Who is inspecting the inspectors?) (Probably this is a paperwork production operation, so as long as the paperwork says the work was done, nobody catches it until the customers complain.) The reason our budget lines for phone / intercom / internet / cable are so weird this year is because that’s generally a deflationary item (if yours isn’t, your probably should look into that) and because we replaced the old phone service in the elevator (that wasn’t performing) by rolling it into the internet based system (which everyone should be doing everywhere).

I understand that you might be tempted to say something like, but I want a “real” PSTN copper landline! If you even know those words, which if you are saying this and you know those words, I hope you have already stopped driving in unfamiliar places, after dark and during rain and other bad weather and you should really have a discussion with the folks who love you about under what circumstances you will turn over your keys and when you replace your driver’s license it will be with a state ID card instead of a license. You might remember the olden days, when the copper landline would “work” even when the “power” was “out”. That’s because there was a big ole battery somewhere, which there increasingly isn’t and also if you are still feisty about this go several paragraphs back up and remind yourself of how _the elevator phone wasn’t working for an extended period of time because the provider was no longer providing the service but was still collecting the checks and just fucking ask yourself how much you are being scammed elsewhere in your life for the false promise that you can keep living like it’s the Reagan Era_.

The real question here — and may the goddess love and bless you and all those you love, because no one else is rewarding your patience so I hope you’re getting something out of it — is: How Many Other Elevators Is This Happening To?

Six years ago in a Ma Bell group on FB, someone posted:

“As a tech who worked tall buildings.
We used to get called out because the phone in the elevator didn't work.
Turns out some newish account manager look over the lines and canceled lines that had no activity
Yes my brothers that was the elevator phone!”

So back then, the risk was, oh, this line is never sued, let’s get rid of it. Things have happened since then.

https://dbscomm.net/end-of-service-for-landlines/

“As of August 2, 2022, The FCC no longer requires telecom companies to provide/sell landline service to small or local telephone companies.”

I missed that development, and may return to dig into it more. Further from that source:

“FCC Order 19-72 was lobbied for as the cost of maintaining copper wire infrastructure has increased over the years, and telecom companies have grown to see it as a dead technology. So in August of this year, the large phone companies were no longer required to support copper landline service, known as POTS (plain old telephone service).

While larger telecom providers like Verizon and AT&T are moving on from costly copper wire and investing heavily in fiber optic communications, there is still a strong demand for service in elevators and buildings that are only wired for copper service.

However, some telecoms are holding onto their copper landline business for the time being and raising prices, industry insiders say that copper phone service will cease to exist by 2025. Another good reason to move on from POTS.”

Welp. I guess we rode that train right to the end of the line.

Anyway. I dug into this today in part because I was wondering whether there was any news coverage of this particular issue. What I learned is that the elevator guild knows all about this, and requirements on new elevators are really great in terms of accessibility and generally not having this problem, but buildings with a single, aging elevator are very much disconnected from that community if their inspection service provider isn’t providing.

My efforts to find an online database of elevator inspection permits were not successful for Seattle — the state maintains a database but it does not include Seattle and Spokane. Those cities do their own elevator inspection. New York and Texas both have a long history of periodic media coverage of problems with their elevators and inspection regulations (or lack thereof), but I suspect a fair amount of regulatory energy has been expended on trying to get private elevators to stop killing children, vs. ensuring that the existing regulatory framework isn’t rotting from within. I suppose we’ll keep having problems of increasing severity until there’s a movement for reform. Or maybe it’ll all be fine, because everyone will have to upgrade anyway for non-tragic reasons.
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I’m listening to an odd lots episode about land bubble in China, which is pretty good, it’s an interview with Mike Bird who recently wrote _The Land Trap_. But Tracy has just told a story about you used to be able to go around Beijing at night in the early 2000s and see the waiters sleeping on the tables in restaurants. This is being told in connection with the system by which control to various state supplied goods are connected to where you were born and are not movable, so if you move, you don’t have those any more.

Anyway.

I distinctly remember an off hours (probably late lunch) meal at a restaurant in Concord (one town over), and looking out the window onto the patio (summer) and seeing one of the servers just completely asleep half in a chair half sprawled out on a table. (Very carefully not naming the restaurant.)

I think of stuff like this as another reason to tip heavily. I didn’t need another reason, but it is.

Apropos of nothing other than sleeping on tables, years ago when I was still reading a lot about domestic life in the nineteenth century, there was a bunch of stuff I ran across about the sleeping accommodations for live-in “help”, and debate around just how appalled anyone should or should not be about a maid having a table designated as her bed, and whether one should be appalled on her behalf, or on behalf of the folks who ate at the table.
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So, yeah, no fever and felt like going. I screwed up and put a pot of beans on the stove to cook (soaked all day yesterday and last night) then went upstairs with my breakfast rather than sending A.’s food up (misophonia requires her to not listen to people chewing). A. eventually came out of the bathroom to see the beans boiling over. I kind of lost my shit, because I would never have walked away from them except I keep trying to making things work better in the morning, and unfortunately the normal routine is actually as good as it can be made to be and all efforts lead to some kind of problem (previous problem involved me falling partway down the stairs and ripping a bunch of skin off my forearm where I was gripping the banister and then swung out over the newel at the end which gouged me pretty good — no blood tho, just a lot of bruising and bits of skin to pick off).

As is pretty typical of my frustration / autism driven meltdowns, I don’t stop engaging in problem solving. I accelerate. So new plan is: no phone after midnight. I think that staring at the screen results in her staying up really late, especially if she is not sleep deprived. Saturday she slept past noon, catching up on the week’s sleep debt (necessary!) but then she didn’t go to sleep until 3:30 or later on Sunday morning. By Monday, she was probably slightly short but not much — but effectively 2+ hours jetlagged. Really stupid shit. I’ve asked her to read some of the science on the phone light / circadian rhythm / inconsistent waking and going to bed times etc. and how harmful that is. She attempted to retain the phone in principle, so she could listen to audible while reading an e-reader, and I said, no, we can look into alternative options, but let’s start a routine where you get in bed with the e-reader and audible on the phone at 10 and shut it all down by midnight. We’ll see how that goes. She actually arrived at the school parking lot with 3 minutes to spare.

I do not want to live in a world in which A. only arrives on time places because of the bump in adrenaline from me yelling at her. I hate that. I like calm.

On the furniture front, my sister may go try the chairs out on Tuesday, and the B.’s are starting to think about their furniture needs. Fingers crossed we get some additional input. R. and I are both leaning towards using the Aimee dining arm chair for our space.
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I walked with M.

I had a delightful zoom with I.

I did family zoom.

I had a delightful long convo with A.

Lots of talking.

A. (daughter, not phone call A.) woke up with a scratchy voice and low energy, so she skipped her playdate. I suggested pre-emptively canceling school tomorrow, but instead we’re going with Wait and See.
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R. and I went to Crate and Barrel, Joss & Main, Arhaus and West Elm to sit in a ton of upholstered dining armchairs in hopes of finding anything at all to refer my sister to for her future dining chair choices. We didn’t do great. We were looking for a fully upholstered low-arm curved / barrel back hip hugger dining chair. Mostly, the radius on the curves was too tight. A lot didn’t have a low-arm. Some were inadequately padded. We did find

https://www.arhaus.com/products/aimee-arm-chair-in-black-drifted

Which isn’t several of the criteria but is extremely comfortable. Comfortable enough to rethink the Stressless dining chair with the extremely long lead time. Altho armchair != plus size friendly in general, so I’m not sure. I’ll have to figure this out before I order anything.

I also showed R. the various drapes option for the window in reception. For some reason, I had it in my mind that that window was not that important in terms of sunlight coming in, and he was clinging to it by his fingernails in desperation and petrified at the idea of me closing tapestry drapes over it. What. No! When is sunlight even going to be coming in through there at an angle that I care about? I would only close the drapes at night anyway. Whatever. He likes the Alex Peyrotte hens and turkeys panels that I found. Weirdly. Front to back the bar / reception / living room in the future house is actually less deep than our current front to back living room. By like three feet.

Anyway.

I walked with M.

I fed A. R. and I had dinner at Burtons and then went to Craft Beer Cellar and ordered the Beer Advent box and bought a bunch of whisky and beer. Fun!
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After I posted yesterday, I had further discussion with my sister. I proposed ergonomic office chairs as dining chairs (I was sincere). That in turn broke loose a great observation: she really liked the chairs at Citricos. She thought initially it was the California Grille, but nope, I found pictures and it wasn’t those chairs, but it was the ones at Citricos, so she basically likes a curved back / barrel / hip-hugger fully upholstered low arm chair. The citricos ones have wings, but it is not clear if that is a desired feature or accidental. I’m going to tour some of the chain furniture stores and try their barrel low arm dining chairs and see what I find and if something seems plausible, find a store near her and tell her to go sit in them and report back. Progess!

Years ago, I proposed a Prioritization Disorder as kind of a joke DSM entry. The thing I’m running up against with my husband / daughter / sister / others isn’t quite that, but may be related. In general, I assume that if you want something done, you’ve got roughly 3 paths forward: do it yourself, delegate it, or identify a person or persons to collaborate with in getting it done. Otherwise, you’re just praying and hoping and wishing.

There might be a lot more people stuck in the praying / hoping / wishing group than I had realized.

Dutch lesson was fun. NOS Journaal does a simplified language version. Woot!

I had lunch at Benjarong with R. I really probably should ask for the vegetarian options on the soup and snack for the lunch combo. I wind up with a slight headache when I don’t, and no headache when I do ask, so.
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I was on this great streak with various folks who I will be living with in the future, in terms of getting people to actually make decisions about random furnishings and so forth. A lot of that was C., some of it was K., but even my sister helped pick out area rugs for a couple rooms. And then I tried to get some additional seating picked out for her space and that was the end of the streak. Later. Used. Later. No coffee table. No side table. Just a 2 person La Z Boy power loveseat, an antique 48” round table and a freestanding cabinet (first one is going to be new, the others are ones they’ve had for over a decade). No chairs at the dining table that is part of the island. No chairs at the 48” table. No comfy chairs beyond the loveseat. It’s … weird.

I didn’t push, because I’ve made some progress, and also I’ve run up against this with my sister an unbelievable number of times over the years, and I’ve decided I’m a lot more interested in understanding it than I am in picking out furniture right now. I care about this furniture primarily because if I’m in the house before she is (which is the current plan), then I can also order a bunch of stuff from Amazon or Wayfair or Pottery Barn or whatever will arrive the fastest and use it there until she arrives and she can either keep it or pass it along. I _suspect_ that what’s going on is some kind of block specific to chairs that does not extend to rugs — rugs ARE genuinely fun to shop for is someone gets you started in a good place (I pointed her at oushaks on etsy, so very accessible, and I used her colors for the first pick and she just ran with it). It could be that she has a long history of hating chairs — every chair becomes uncomfortable past a certain age, unless you go have it reupholstered and possibly more, and thus they are a necessary evil and you have as few of them as you possibly can. The La Z Boy power recliner and a reference to B. eating in his ergonomic office chair while watching TV on his computer suggest that’s a factor.

I walked with M.

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