Tuesday involves some drama
Jan. 14th, 2025 11:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walkitoutI will finish this after the IEP meeting that’s coming up. I have to do duolingo first — I’m writing this a couple days after the fact as part of a blog catch up.
ETA:
There was email from the architect asking for responses on a proposed railing on the green roof on top of the garage. This railing is at the back of the garage (from a garage perspective) but to the far left of the green roof / deck from that perspective. I had asked for something — we were definitely gonna need something because the drop off to grade there is several feet. However, I also pointed out concerns around the skylight nearby. The skylights opens onto a first floor (middle floor) office; the green roof is on the second floor (top floor). The drop from the skylight to the floor of the office is somewhere between 7 and 9 feet. At the point this was all being discussed, the skylight, like the skylights in the living room that I had been thinking of when I made skylight related decisions like operability and screens and blinds, was operable. So, it opens. How much? Who knows! Is it lockable? Yes, but we didn’t know that at the time. And I also wasn’t clear on whether we had the options to use a remote control on this one. In the event, we did, so security and operability by the person who is intended to have that office is not a concern.
However, the possibility that a toddler might be toddling on the green roof near the entry (door 10) and go explore an open skylight and find some very, very, very real trouble was as yet unaddressed. When I talked to R. about it, this was literally the first time he knew there was a skylight in that location. However, I’d already run this thing up and gotten a drawing and yet, still a terrifying idea. I figured, at minimum, it shouldn’t be operable. At the time, I still had questions about what happens if someone steps on it. Again, that’s not a problem. Zero deflection at 400 pounds. It’s fine.
Anyway, JB responded to the request to make it not operable by saying, unit is on site; do you want me to return it? And I was like, how is this a question. The builder is very safety oriented. There’s no way in hell an inspector who noticed this would let it pass. I responded, let’s talk about it in person when I get there maybe you can reassure me. Meanwhile, R., who is just trying to get through the morning routine so we can get A. to school and me off to the house, is like, probably not ever going to happen.
Well, duh. Obviously. 51% isn’t really good enough for me tho. In this case, I would need to think through what’s involved in keeping us somewhere around 4 or 5 or 6 9s, and having put it in writing, if something bad did happen, there’s a really, really solid insurance case on me being very liable for it. Potentially, criminal liability all around, not to mention the fact my sister is a pediatric LPN, and while she is pretty oblivious, if she ever noticed that thing she would 100% lose her shit and it would stay that way until the problem was corrected. Seemed easier to just fix it now.
By the time I got to the house, JB had already reached out to the vendor and a replacement NON operable unit will be delivered by Friday, so as a practical matter, all was resolved. But also, because R. really wasn’t that interested but did not explicitly say so, he kept saying things like, “it would probably be fine but do whatever you want”. Meanwhile, I was still trying to collaborate, viz, not make a unilateral decision, not impose my opinion on everyone else, build consensus yadda yadda yadda. I said, I’m confused, and he didn’t get that, so I did the, okay, repeat after me so I know you heard me. He did, “Walkitout is confused.” And then with no pause, and emphatically, “But you’re not! You know what you want!”
I was like, okay, we’re getting out of the house now, but we’ll discuss this after you are home from dropping A. off. And we did, and he persisted, because from his perspective, he didn’t really care, and I did, and so I should just go with what I wanted. To be utterly clear, he did NOT say any of that then or ever — that’s my interpretation well after the fact. What he did was double down on asserting that I was not confused.
I was never confused about the scale or nature of the hazard presented: extremely low probability, probably manageable if everyone remembered and cooperated, two things that I put low trust in in general and absolutely no trust in in a multi-generational house. I was never confused about the solution: make it an in-operable skylight that you can safely jump on as an adult. What I was confused about was how no one else seemed to perceive any risk around this thing at all.
Obviously, once it was carefully pointed out to them, everyone grasped it. R. eventually even grasped that telling me I’m not confused when I really am is … bad for a relationship.
Anyway. I’m still trying to work out why I walk around seeing so many awful possibilities and other people don’t. This will take a while.
ETA:
There was email from the architect asking for responses on a proposed railing on the green roof on top of the garage. This railing is at the back of the garage (from a garage perspective) but to the far left of the green roof / deck from that perspective. I had asked for something — we were definitely gonna need something because the drop off to grade there is several feet. However, I also pointed out concerns around the skylight nearby. The skylights opens onto a first floor (middle floor) office; the green roof is on the second floor (top floor). The drop from the skylight to the floor of the office is somewhere between 7 and 9 feet. At the point this was all being discussed, the skylight, like the skylights in the living room that I had been thinking of when I made skylight related decisions like operability and screens and blinds, was operable. So, it opens. How much? Who knows! Is it lockable? Yes, but we didn’t know that at the time. And I also wasn’t clear on whether we had the options to use a remote control on this one. In the event, we did, so security and operability by the person who is intended to have that office is not a concern.
However, the possibility that a toddler might be toddling on the green roof near the entry (door 10) and go explore an open skylight and find some very, very, very real trouble was as yet unaddressed. When I talked to R. about it, this was literally the first time he knew there was a skylight in that location. However, I’d already run this thing up and gotten a drawing and yet, still a terrifying idea. I figured, at minimum, it shouldn’t be operable. At the time, I still had questions about what happens if someone steps on it. Again, that’s not a problem. Zero deflection at 400 pounds. It’s fine.
Anyway, JB responded to the request to make it not operable by saying, unit is on site; do you want me to return it? And I was like, how is this a question. The builder is very safety oriented. There’s no way in hell an inspector who noticed this would let it pass. I responded, let’s talk about it in person when I get there maybe you can reassure me. Meanwhile, R., who is just trying to get through the morning routine so we can get A. to school and me off to the house, is like, probably not ever going to happen.
Well, duh. Obviously. 51% isn’t really good enough for me tho. In this case, I would need to think through what’s involved in keeping us somewhere around 4 or 5 or 6 9s, and having put it in writing, if something bad did happen, there’s a really, really solid insurance case on me being very liable for it. Potentially, criminal liability all around, not to mention the fact my sister is a pediatric LPN, and while she is pretty oblivious, if she ever noticed that thing she would 100% lose her shit and it would stay that way until the problem was corrected. Seemed easier to just fix it now.
By the time I got to the house, JB had already reached out to the vendor and a replacement NON operable unit will be delivered by Friday, so as a practical matter, all was resolved. But also, because R. really wasn’t that interested but did not explicitly say so, he kept saying things like, “it would probably be fine but do whatever you want”. Meanwhile, I was still trying to collaborate, viz, not make a unilateral decision, not impose my opinion on everyone else, build consensus yadda yadda yadda. I said, I’m confused, and he didn’t get that, so I did the, okay, repeat after me so I know you heard me. He did, “Walkitout is confused.” And then with no pause, and emphatically, “But you’re not! You know what you want!”
I was like, okay, we’re getting out of the house now, but we’ll discuss this after you are home from dropping A. off. And we did, and he persisted, because from his perspective, he didn’t really care, and I did, and so I should just go with what I wanted. To be utterly clear, he did NOT say any of that then or ever — that’s my interpretation well after the fact. What he did was double down on asserting that I was not confused.
I was never confused about the scale or nature of the hazard presented: extremely low probability, probably manageable if everyone remembered and cooperated, two things that I put low trust in in general and absolutely no trust in in a multi-generational house. I was never confused about the solution: make it an in-operable skylight that you can safely jump on as an adult. What I was confused about was how no one else seemed to perceive any risk around this thing at all.
Obviously, once it was carefully pointed out to them, everyone grasped it. R. eventually even grasped that telling me I’m not confused when I really am is … bad for a relationship.
Anyway. I’m still trying to work out why I walk around seeing so many awful possibilities and other people don’t. This will take a while.