Saturday: routine!
Aug. 26th, 2023 02:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walkitoutI drove T. and me to martial arts and we also went to Vic’s. Piano lessons happened. Yay!
I walked with M.
Apparently we got our permits on Thursday! Yay! We are now waiting on National Grid and then digging will commence. (This is for the Northampton project.)
T.’s work shift was canceled unexpectedly, so we spent a couple hours in his room decluttering. There was some recycling / trash, which was our starting point. There were older tank under shirts and underwear that needed to be sorted and decluttered. R. had decluttered his larger clothes (as he has trimmed down quite a lot in the last few years) and given the shorts and collared shirts to T. The shorts were largely not to T.’s liking, but he did not get rid of them until today. I talked to R. to make sure he did not declutter into T.’s stuff without my involvement again. T. struggles to get rid of things, and I don’t necessarily push it except maybe once a year or so. As a result, T.’s organization can become fragile and dumping more in there really tips it over the edge.
I refolded so things would fit in their spaces better. I took some of the nicer shoe boxes and used them to impose order in the sections of his chest that are not drawers. I got some more hangars so he could get everything hanging up appropriately. The floor is a lot more clear now. We also took down all the framed Disney puzzles that he did during the pandemic, to make space on his walls for some of the posters he got recently.
He had a couple pictures he wanted framed, so I did that, and a picture he didn’t want on the wall anymore. We imposed some order on collections of cards and homework from last year and similar (recycling some and putting the ones he wanted to keep together).
I got tired, and I had a phone call planned at 3 pm, so we wrapped it up around then. I had a lot of things in the hall that I later moved elsewhere in the house (the puzzle de-framing and similar). There are still items he wants to put in a memory box. I _think_ I will be getting him a second crate, altho we might go through that and reduce it as well. He went to see a movie.
I had a long phone call with J. We mostly talked through some communication confusion and did a little brainstorming about paths forward. He’s got a couple action items (confer with lawyer regarding the proposed path forward, and also confirm that the mortgage is indeed assumable and what the terms are there).
He had said in a previous conversation that he, a former boyfriend of mine and I were all at Bellevue Square looking at a Tesla on display before they were available for sale. That is obviously not at all possible. It was actually 2 girlfriends later for the former boyfriend, which just pause to think about how interchangeable I feel in this memory. J.’s memory is generally good, but like everyone’s memory, imperfect and this was a very clear example of its imperfection. He did comment, however, about what a “scumsucker” that former boyfriend turned out to be, and I realized I didn’t really know when or why J. had come to that conclusion — he certainly had been exerting a fair amount of pressure on me for years to be friendly with that ex-boyfriend and since that was a hard no for me, I found that pressure annoying back in the day. I developed a mostly new and different social group with a subsequent boyfriend, and when that relationship ended, felt like there wasn’t really any reason I had to stay in Seattle, since it was always possible to find and befriend delightful new people and I could presumably sustain the longer-standing relationships from a distance (all turned out to be true, I might add). So I _asked_ why he had come to that conclusion, and learned that that boyfriend had cut ties with “everyone who knew him before he got rich”. Since he’d _stayed friends_ with a lot of those people well after I’d retired, that sounded more than a little odd. I asked if the co-parent — who I remembered being FB friends with the ex-boyfriend — maintained a connection and knew what the ex-boyfriend was up to. He wasn’t sure and didn’t care, but thought that he was staying with his parents and caring for them in their dotage.
I can’t even begin to express how … odd all this sounded, and I hadn’t cyberstalked him in a while, so I took a look around. He seems to be completely scrubbed from FB. It looks like the parents sold out of the Fresno house a while back and got a double wide in a trailer park in Marysville, which is now in his mom’s name. I tracked down one of the brothers on FB. That brother has one Amazon era co-worker as an FB friend (so one mutual), and there are pictures of a recent birthday party for mom, and a couple year old photo of a wedding anniversary. Ancestry’s copy of the 2020 voter database says that indeed, the ex-boyfriend is living in the double wide along with both the parents.
The URL associated with the gluten free frozen pizza line seems to be dead. The second pizza chain has shrunk considerably and the other brother’s linked in indicates that he’s no longer associated with it (that linked in is super hilarious in so many ways).
J. seemed pretty angry about being cut off. I’m really wondering what’s actually going on. I don’t think this is a rich person cutting off the people who knew him before he was rich. This feels more like a person who was rich for a while, and who is not any more, not wanting contact with people who knew him _while_ he was rich. But what do I know. Life is strange.
I walked with M.
Apparently we got our permits on Thursday! Yay! We are now waiting on National Grid and then digging will commence. (This is for the Northampton project.)
T.’s work shift was canceled unexpectedly, so we spent a couple hours in his room decluttering. There was some recycling / trash, which was our starting point. There were older tank under shirts and underwear that needed to be sorted and decluttered. R. had decluttered his larger clothes (as he has trimmed down quite a lot in the last few years) and given the shorts and collared shirts to T. The shorts were largely not to T.’s liking, but he did not get rid of them until today. I talked to R. to make sure he did not declutter into T.’s stuff without my involvement again. T. struggles to get rid of things, and I don’t necessarily push it except maybe once a year or so. As a result, T.’s organization can become fragile and dumping more in there really tips it over the edge.
I refolded so things would fit in their spaces better. I took some of the nicer shoe boxes and used them to impose order in the sections of his chest that are not drawers. I got some more hangars so he could get everything hanging up appropriately. The floor is a lot more clear now. We also took down all the framed Disney puzzles that he did during the pandemic, to make space on his walls for some of the posters he got recently.
He had a couple pictures he wanted framed, so I did that, and a picture he didn’t want on the wall anymore. We imposed some order on collections of cards and homework from last year and similar (recycling some and putting the ones he wanted to keep together).
I got tired, and I had a phone call planned at 3 pm, so we wrapped it up around then. I had a lot of things in the hall that I later moved elsewhere in the house (the puzzle de-framing and similar). There are still items he wants to put in a memory box. I _think_ I will be getting him a second crate, altho we might go through that and reduce it as well. He went to see a movie.
I had a long phone call with J. We mostly talked through some communication confusion and did a little brainstorming about paths forward. He’s got a couple action items (confer with lawyer regarding the proposed path forward, and also confirm that the mortgage is indeed assumable and what the terms are there).
He had said in a previous conversation that he, a former boyfriend of mine and I were all at Bellevue Square looking at a Tesla on display before they were available for sale. That is obviously not at all possible. It was actually 2 girlfriends later for the former boyfriend, which just pause to think about how interchangeable I feel in this memory. J.’s memory is generally good, but like everyone’s memory, imperfect and this was a very clear example of its imperfection. He did comment, however, about what a “scumsucker” that former boyfriend turned out to be, and I realized I didn’t really know when or why J. had come to that conclusion — he certainly had been exerting a fair amount of pressure on me for years to be friendly with that ex-boyfriend and since that was a hard no for me, I found that pressure annoying back in the day. I developed a mostly new and different social group with a subsequent boyfriend, and when that relationship ended, felt like there wasn’t really any reason I had to stay in Seattle, since it was always possible to find and befriend delightful new people and I could presumably sustain the longer-standing relationships from a distance (all turned out to be true, I might add). So I _asked_ why he had come to that conclusion, and learned that that boyfriend had cut ties with “everyone who knew him before he got rich”. Since he’d _stayed friends_ with a lot of those people well after I’d retired, that sounded more than a little odd. I asked if the co-parent — who I remembered being FB friends with the ex-boyfriend — maintained a connection and knew what the ex-boyfriend was up to. He wasn’t sure and didn’t care, but thought that he was staying with his parents and caring for them in their dotage.
I can’t even begin to express how … odd all this sounded, and I hadn’t cyberstalked him in a while, so I took a look around. He seems to be completely scrubbed from FB. It looks like the parents sold out of the Fresno house a while back and got a double wide in a trailer park in Marysville, which is now in his mom’s name. I tracked down one of the brothers on FB. That brother has one Amazon era co-worker as an FB friend (so one mutual), and there are pictures of a recent birthday party for mom, and a couple year old photo of a wedding anniversary. Ancestry’s copy of the 2020 voter database says that indeed, the ex-boyfriend is living in the double wide along with both the parents.
The URL associated with the gluten free frozen pizza line seems to be dead. The second pizza chain has shrunk considerably and the other brother’s linked in indicates that he’s no longer associated with it (that linked in is super hilarious in so many ways).
J. seemed pretty angry about being cut off. I’m really wondering what’s actually going on. I don’t think this is a rich person cutting off the people who knew him before he was rich. This feels more like a person who was rich for a while, and who is not any more, not wanting contact with people who knew him _while_ he was rich. But what do I know. Life is strange.