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Something yesterday did not agree with me. No headache. I got up to make french toast, went to the bathroom and ugh. I took some imodium, and relatively rapidly ran through my small stash (3 capsules) of imodium. This was likely a mistake; I later realized this formulation of imodium contains lactose and it’s totally possible I was having a really bad lactose response.
I. tried to help, but I asked her to pick up apple juice ginger ale or sprite/7 up in that order, and she found apple juice and decided against it on taste reasons. She had no idea the relative merits of these things for rehydration. I tried the sprite but it tasted like metal, which usually (for me anyway) means that I shouldn’t be drinking it because it’s too far off in some direction on electrolytes. If I had been thinking straight, I probably could have doctored it up. There wasn’t any sugar in the place, and I didn’t find the honey for a while. I asked for saltines and she got me buckwheat crackers. For what it’s worth, I didn’t even realize these were buckwheat until much later, I just knew I couldn’t eat more than a nibble and I didn’t want any more. She went to a different store to get me imodium, but two varieties had lactose (I’d figured it out by then) and the other had aspartame (which gives me horrible headaches). Because we had bottled water, and I knew I needed carbs and salt and the crackers had both, I resorted to extremely tiny sips of water with very tiny nibbles of cracker that I let more or less fully dissolve in my mouth before swallowing. No fever — it’s really clear that this was just an epic fuckup with food the day before. Probably too much butter in the tasting dinner, potentially additional milk products (they served me something with parmesan crackers but said it out loud and I said did you say parmesan and they swapped it for something different) and possible sour cream in the cole slaw. But probably not — I think that was just mayo in the cole slaw.
Oh! And when she asked the pharmacist for pedialyte they pointed her at powdered rehydration stuff, and that contained caffeine which felt like a terrible idea to me.
In the moment, this was very frustrating, altho I did make an effort to thank her for all her efforts because she really did try hard. However, in retrospect, the degree and kind of errors is a pretty clear indicator that I should never travel alone with her again. I can absolutely see the many threads of neurodivergence in the logical or explanation and the relentless if subtle pressure for wanting what she wanted. And also, if I want to go on vacation and have to relentlessly fight for everything and defend myself vigorously against hostile action, I can do that with blood family and in-laws. I was looking for something a little different in chosen family. I’ve mostly trained the family I travel with regularly (R., A. and even T., plus my sister and her family) how to not contribute to accidentally sickening me and I mostly know their idiosyncrasies so I can work with them. In that larger group — which we’ve included I. in several times over the years — I get my needs met just fine. But I. wanted something smaller and without my kids — and she is not a useful support system on vacation. I would never, ever, ever have gone to St. Martin by myself. I travel by myself just fine and stay completely out of trouble. Traveling with I. is worse than traveling alone or with a larger group of scrappy family members. What a bummer.
Anyway. Really miserable day. She went to the L’Astrolabe reservation without me (yay, walkable!) and I slept all day (this is catch up blogging later).
ETA: And on top of everything else, I got a call from the insurance folks for the construction site. I somehow missed a December re-up, so I now need to get through that process promptly. *sigh*
Also, there is something going on with the commissioning of the solar / battery / backup generation system. The utility is telling the solar folks that I shut off my account with the utility. Obviously not true. But now I have to go track down account number, name on account, address _as the utility understands it_ so the utility can find something in their own system. *sigh* It’s so fucking hard to deal with this while feeling ill.
I. tried to help, but I asked her to pick up apple juice ginger ale or sprite/7 up in that order, and she found apple juice and decided against it on taste reasons. She had no idea the relative merits of these things for rehydration. I tried the sprite but it tasted like metal, which usually (for me anyway) means that I shouldn’t be drinking it because it’s too far off in some direction on electrolytes. If I had been thinking straight, I probably could have doctored it up. There wasn’t any sugar in the place, and I didn’t find the honey for a while. I asked for saltines and she got me buckwheat crackers. For what it’s worth, I didn’t even realize these were buckwheat until much later, I just knew I couldn’t eat more than a nibble and I didn’t want any more. She went to a different store to get me imodium, but two varieties had lactose (I’d figured it out by then) and the other had aspartame (which gives me horrible headaches). Because we had bottled water, and I knew I needed carbs and salt and the crackers had both, I resorted to extremely tiny sips of water with very tiny nibbles of cracker that I let more or less fully dissolve in my mouth before swallowing. No fever — it’s really clear that this was just an epic fuckup with food the day before. Probably too much butter in the tasting dinner, potentially additional milk products (they served me something with parmesan crackers but said it out loud and I said did you say parmesan and they swapped it for something different) and possible sour cream in the cole slaw. But probably not — I think that was just mayo in the cole slaw.
Oh! And when she asked the pharmacist for pedialyte they pointed her at powdered rehydration stuff, and that contained caffeine which felt like a terrible idea to me.
In the moment, this was very frustrating, altho I did make an effort to thank her for all her efforts because she really did try hard. However, in retrospect, the degree and kind of errors is a pretty clear indicator that I should never travel alone with her again. I can absolutely see the many threads of neurodivergence in the logical or explanation and the relentless if subtle pressure for wanting what she wanted. And also, if I want to go on vacation and have to relentlessly fight for everything and defend myself vigorously against hostile action, I can do that with blood family and in-laws. I was looking for something a little different in chosen family. I’ve mostly trained the family I travel with regularly (R., A. and even T., plus my sister and her family) how to not contribute to accidentally sickening me and I mostly know their idiosyncrasies so I can work with them. In that larger group — which we’ve included I. in several times over the years — I get my needs met just fine. But I. wanted something smaller and without my kids — and she is not a useful support system on vacation. I would never, ever, ever have gone to St. Martin by myself. I travel by myself just fine and stay completely out of trouble. Traveling with I. is worse than traveling alone or with a larger group of scrappy family members. What a bummer.
Anyway. Really miserable day. She went to the L’Astrolabe reservation without me (yay, walkable!) and I slept all day (this is catch up blogging later).
ETA: And on top of everything else, I got a call from the insurance folks for the construction site. I somehow missed a December re-up, so I now need to get through that process promptly. *sigh*
Also, there is something going on with the commissioning of the solar / battery / backup generation system. The utility is telling the solar folks that I shut off my account with the utility. Obviously not true. But now I have to go track down account number, name on account, address _as the utility understands it_ so the utility can find something in their own system. *sigh* It’s so fucking hard to deal with this while feeling ill.