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Wednesday: So. Many. Interruptions.
Sep. 25th, 2024 11:00 pmI had a delightful long phone call with J.
I walked with M. We’re doing porch visits now.
I got some calls from J., and she pointed out some really apparent ducting in both kitchens that had somehow escaped both of our notice. It’s really bad and it’s clearly marked on the Mechanicals pages, which I wasn’t looking at. But I’m looking at them now.
We also talked about the exposed wiring and sprinkler plumbing in some ceilings as a result of the trimber removal decision. This led to a complex conversation with R. about how he felt about that. He went out to a show, and came back and we talked some more. We ended up in a good space, but it was a little rocky on the way. Also, apparently his sister T. has been asked for a divorce. Also, T-weekend at her place is off, and she’s headed to Florida with her daughter A. to spend T-weekend with MIL.
You know, it’s weird. I’ve been thinking a lot about the incident over the summer when A. was thinking about wanting to go back to grade school (weird for her — usually it’s middle school) and also having thoughts of death, and I realized this wasn’t just puberty being weird but rather A. somehow tuning into MIL “brain radio”. Because those were for sure MIL thoughts, even tho A. didn’t know they were MIL thoughts. Niece A. recently told me about projective identification, and I’ve been thinking since then about biology and projective identification and twin telepathy and similar. I keep thinking about the idea that MIL and Florida Man being “broadcasters”, and anyone around them biologically wired up to receive those transmissions are fundamentally permanently at risk whenever they are near a related broadcaster. There isn’t anyone in their life, apparently, able to tell them, like I told A., what was going on and to insist on adequate physical separation to limit reception.
That whole paragraph feels so crazy typing it in, but I really believe it.
Anyway. There are tons of reasons why people who have been married for 30 years call it quits, but I’ve often wondered why R.’s BILs put up with R.’s sisters, given their behavior around Florida Man. (I also think his sister A. really owes me for having so clearly demonstrated that Florida Man cannot be “fixed”. Altho apparently I didn’t successfully convince R.’s sister T.) We’re sitting around speculating about what might have been the tipping point. The fact that Florida Man is apparently moving out of supportive housing might honestly have been it, but also, their younger offspring is about to graduate college, and sometimes those milestones are what someone was waiting for (it really simplifies divorce when there are no minor children and no college payment commitments). It could also be something as simple as realizing that there are enough resources to split and maintain lifestyle. I may or may not ever know, and I find that I don’t particularly care, beyond mild curiosity.
Not son called for me to pay for more driving lessons, but the website wasn’t working so we’ll try again in a day or two.
There were so many interruptions today — getting A. through the shower in case she goes to school tomorrow, T. dropping by to pick up his headphones and drop off a birthday card for his sister — that tasks kept building up purely because I never got to complete anything. It was distressing. In good news, I apparently am now hosting T-weekend for all four of us. Very exciting!
I walked with M. We’re doing porch visits now.
I got some calls from J., and she pointed out some really apparent ducting in both kitchens that had somehow escaped both of our notice. It’s really bad and it’s clearly marked on the Mechanicals pages, which I wasn’t looking at. But I’m looking at them now.
We also talked about the exposed wiring and sprinkler plumbing in some ceilings as a result of the trimber removal decision. This led to a complex conversation with R. about how he felt about that. He went out to a show, and came back and we talked some more. We ended up in a good space, but it was a little rocky on the way. Also, apparently his sister T. has been asked for a divorce. Also, T-weekend at her place is off, and she’s headed to Florida with her daughter A. to spend T-weekend with MIL.
You know, it’s weird. I’ve been thinking a lot about the incident over the summer when A. was thinking about wanting to go back to grade school (weird for her — usually it’s middle school) and also having thoughts of death, and I realized this wasn’t just puberty being weird but rather A. somehow tuning into MIL “brain radio”. Because those were for sure MIL thoughts, even tho A. didn’t know they were MIL thoughts. Niece A. recently told me about projective identification, and I’ve been thinking since then about biology and projective identification and twin telepathy and similar. I keep thinking about the idea that MIL and Florida Man being “broadcasters”, and anyone around them biologically wired up to receive those transmissions are fundamentally permanently at risk whenever they are near a related broadcaster. There isn’t anyone in their life, apparently, able to tell them, like I told A., what was going on and to insist on adequate physical separation to limit reception.
That whole paragraph feels so crazy typing it in, but I really believe it.
Anyway. There are tons of reasons why people who have been married for 30 years call it quits, but I’ve often wondered why R.’s BILs put up with R.’s sisters, given their behavior around Florida Man. (I also think his sister A. really owes me for having so clearly demonstrated that Florida Man cannot be “fixed”. Altho apparently I didn’t successfully convince R.’s sister T.) We’re sitting around speculating about what might have been the tipping point. The fact that Florida Man is apparently moving out of supportive housing might honestly have been it, but also, their younger offspring is about to graduate college, and sometimes those milestones are what someone was waiting for (it really simplifies divorce when there are no minor children and no college payment commitments). It could also be something as simple as realizing that there are enough resources to split and maintain lifestyle. I may or may not ever know, and I find that I don’t particularly care, beyond mild curiosity.
Not son called for me to pay for more driving lessons, but the website wasn’t working so we’ll try again in a day or two.
There were so many interruptions today — getting A. through the shower in case she goes to school tomorrow, T. dropping by to pick up his headphones and drop off a birthday card for his sister — that tasks kept building up purely because I never got to complete anything. It was distressing. In good news, I apparently am now hosting T-weekend for all four of us. Very exciting!