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Grumbling About Yesterday
Jan. 31st, 2021 11:31 amBecause I am the age I am, I am Going Through Some Things. The swings in hormones in the course of my cycle are ... worse. Specifically, the migraines induced by the tail end where things drop back down again are pretty annoying. They are not debilitating, exactly, except they are more disabling than I realize, and I try to go about my day and do things and then I scream at people, and everyone is unhappy.
I told R. today that I would proactively go hide in my room more today. Part of the problem is that while I can tick along okay, anyone asking me out of the blue to problem solve something, like, making the water in the house taste better, starts a process that Does Not End Well. Altho we now have a plan: we are calling Papalia on Monday and are going to see if they will install a whole house filtration system, because none of the other smaller options are particularly desirable. We do not want to go back to bottled water in any form, nor do we want a fridge with an external tap, and trying to use the filtered tap inside the fridge is negative (doors do not reliably close completely, and people spill water and don’t like juggling the button and their bottle), and an under sink filter would likely require a hole drilled in the granite for an additional filtered spout and we’ve Failed Miserably every time we try to find someone to modify the granite. In any event, I’d kind of like to have water that tasted drinkable and did not make me feel slightly nauseated when I get water at a bathroom tap. And for parts of the year, Acton water is Nasty.
But the route _to_ that plan was distinctly unpleasant for everyone, and I’m not proud of how I spoke.
Also yesterday, or I guess technically this morning, I got a message from a BIL about Florida Man, who has been kicked out of the place he was living. So today’s family zoom will be, I guess, whatever it is. If Florida Man gets it together, he can still access all the supportive resources, but for now, he has chosen to walk away, which is an entirely unsurprising yet still disappointing development. At least everyone in the family system is now clear that there is nothing that has not been tried that might work to get him to make better choices (progress!), AND he is in Florida, which is Not Near Any Of Us.
I watched the last ten minutes of Taylor Tomlinson’s netflix comedy special. It was pretty good, but also had elements where I just felt kinda sad. Listening to her talk about how she was raised and compare it to how she sees her friends raising her kids just reminds me of so many people I care about who really struggled to get to a point where they realized just how terrible their parents were. We can love people who are (or, hopefully, get to a point where we can say they _were_) terrible, but as long as we are pretending they weren’t (or, sadly, aren’t) terrible, we aren’t going to be what we want to be, either. She is very funny tho, and her delivery is amazing.
I watched part of The Old Guard. It’s a little too pain porn-y for me (or at least it is right at the moment).
I poked around in my kindle library and read some samples I had downloaded at some point probably years ago. One of them was a book about graveyards in the United States with a view to understanding separation by ethnicity — it looks really good (it’s a genealogy thing, okay? But also a really interesting take on how cultural practices around death reinforce behavioral norms among the living), but I’m not necessarily interested in reading the whole thing any time soon. Another was .. a super odd book that I think I must have downloaded a sample of in a moment of masochistic curiosity (or maybe my sister did, who knows). It’s one of those big rock hits the planet books, but told as a morality tale of Preppers. Seriously. Bonkers.
I wound up trying a book called _Cliff Diver_ by Carmen Amato, which is a very well-written police procedural set in Acapulco. Not sure what I think of it, but it is definitely extremely involving. There seem to be two of them in my kindle library; I suspect this is the result of my sister’s interest in many things Mexico over the last couple years.
I told R. today that I would proactively go hide in my room more today. Part of the problem is that while I can tick along okay, anyone asking me out of the blue to problem solve something, like, making the water in the house taste better, starts a process that Does Not End Well. Altho we now have a plan: we are calling Papalia on Monday and are going to see if they will install a whole house filtration system, because none of the other smaller options are particularly desirable. We do not want to go back to bottled water in any form, nor do we want a fridge with an external tap, and trying to use the filtered tap inside the fridge is negative (doors do not reliably close completely, and people spill water and don’t like juggling the button and their bottle), and an under sink filter would likely require a hole drilled in the granite for an additional filtered spout and we’ve Failed Miserably every time we try to find someone to modify the granite. In any event, I’d kind of like to have water that tasted drinkable and did not make me feel slightly nauseated when I get water at a bathroom tap. And for parts of the year, Acton water is Nasty.
But the route _to_ that plan was distinctly unpleasant for everyone, and I’m not proud of how I spoke.
Also yesterday, or I guess technically this morning, I got a message from a BIL about Florida Man, who has been kicked out of the place he was living. So today’s family zoom will be, I guess, whatever it is. If Florida Man gets it together, he can still access all the supportive resources, but for now, he has chosen to walk away, which is an entirely unsurprising yet still disappointing development. At least everyone in the family system is now clear that there is nothing that has not been tried that might work to get him to make better choices (progress!), AND he is in Florida, which is Not Near Any Of Us.
I watched the last ten minutes of Taylor Tomlinson’s netflix comedy special. It was pretty good, but also had elements where I just felt kinda sad. Listening to her talk about how she was raised and compare it to how she sees her friends raising her kids just reminds me of so many people I care about who really struggled to get to a point where they realized just how terrible their parents were. We can love people who are (or, hopefully, get to a point where we can say they _were_) terrible, but as long as we are pretending they weren’t (or, sadly, aren’t) terrible, we aren’t going to be what we want to be, either. She is very funny tho, and her delivery is amazing.
I watched part of The Old Guard. It’s a little too pain porn-y for me (or at least it is right at the moment).
I poked around in my kindle library and read some samples I had downloaded at some point probably years ago. One of them was a book about graveyards in the United States with a view to understanding separation by ethnicity — it looks really good (it’s a genealogy thing, okay? But also a really interesting take on how cultural practices around death reinforce behavioral norms among the living), but I’m not necessarily interested in reading the whole thing any time soon. Another was .. a super odd book that I think I must have downloaded a sample of in a moment of masochistic curiosity (or maybe my sister did, who knows). It’s one of those big rock hits the planet books, but told as a morality tale of Preppers. Seriously. Bonkers.
I wound up trying a book called _Cliff Diver_ by Carmen Amato, which is a very well-written police procedural set in Acapulco. Not sure what I think of it, but it is definitely extremely involving. There seem to be two of them in my kindle library; I suspect this is the result of my sister’s interest in many things Mexico over the last couple years.