Sunday: playdate, walks, editing
Jul. 25th, 2021 11:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
walkitoutA., R. and A.’s friend F. and her mom M. all went for a walk at Great Brook State Farm. It was hot, muggy and there were a lot of mosquitos, so they also had ice cream.
I got a walk with M., and another short walk by myself because I was walking in crocs due to a bug bite on my heel.
I found a really cool MOC that is an Boba Fett spaceship build / alternate build for the Razor Crest. I bought the instructions off Rebrickable, and also got some other free, smaller alt builds for the advent calendars. Oh, and a really neat looking emperor penguin build.
L. resent me her manuscript-so-far that I had let expire (FB does not keep PDF messages forever!) and I downloaded it and went through and did detailed feedback. It was mostly word-o, run-ons, punctuation type comments, but translating epigrams/poetry is super hard, and I was able to actually provide some help there. Once I figured out what was intended, I could offer a suggested recasting of it that she can build on. I don’t know the source language, tho, so there are hard limits on how much I can help with those. She’s a remarkably talented writer — lean, lively prose, good pacing, very evocative depiction of internal thoughts / feeling states. The dialogue sets scene, develops character, provides background and moves the story along which is _awe inspiring_. I’ve read several different people’s pre-pub work over the years (in addition to endless amounts of published work), and while everything I’ve read that was a developed even partial manuscript has been more than good enough to be publishable (versus published work I have read over the years), this is the first manuscript that’s actually made me think Award Winning Critical Acclaim Breakthrough etc. add all the positive exclamation marks. It’s amazing. I hope she keeps going, and I’m honored to get to be a tiny part of her process.
I got a walk with M., and another short walk by myself because I was walking in crocs due to a bug bite on my heel.
I found a really cool MOC that is an Boba Fett spaceship build / alternate build for the Razor Crest. I bought the instructions off Rebrickable, and also got some other free, smaller alt builds for the advent calendars. Oh, and a really neat looking emperor penguin build.
L. resent me her manuscript-so-far that I had let expire (FB does not keep PDF messages forever!) and I downloaded it and went through and did detailed feedback. It was mostly word-o, run-ons, punctuation type comments, but translating epigrams/poetry is super hard, and I was able to actually provide some help there. Once I figured out what was intended, I could offer a suggested recasting of it that she can build on. I don’t know the source language, tho, so there are hard limits on how much I can help with those. She’s a remarkably talented writer — lean, lively prose, good pacing, very evocative depiction of internal thoughts / feeling states. The dialogue sets scene, develops character, provides background and moves the story along which is _awe inspiring_. I’ve read several different people’s pre-pub work over the years (in addition to endless amounts of published work), and while everything I’ve read that was a developed even partial manuscript has been more than good enough to be publishable (versus published work I have read over the years), this is the first manuscript that’s actually made me think Award Winning Critical Acclaim Breakthrough etc. add all the positive exclamation marks. It’s amazing. I hope she keeps going, and I’m honored to get to be a tiny part of her process.