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walkitoutWe were thinking we might close today, but no. Waiting for documents on the other side. Oh well!
I bought _Daughter of Dragons_, the first in the follow up trilogy to Pillars of Reality. Nice to see that shoving the men in their lives off of trains runs in the family!
So. Many. Calls!
I had a delightful call with J.
I had a very anticipated, should I say dreaded, webex call (first webex call ever, not a huge fan, but, whatever). This was a family* call with a facility in Florida where a family member is undergoing “treatment”. I’ve been funding “treatment” at this facility and a previous one in Massachusetts for this family member since February. I have at no point really believed that any of this “treatment” would result in lasting change in the person undergoing the “treatment”, but, you know, if you are not willing to try something, criticism is cheap. If you _are_ willing to try something, it is expensive. Very, very expensive. I feel like at this point, the amount of criticism I can engage in is _extensive_. Mostly, it boils down to what I knew going into this thing. Here, I will summarize.
(1) Personality disorders run in families. I do not care if it is genetic or if it is family culture or both. It runs in families.
(2) People get diagnosed with all kinds of bonkers stuff before they get a personality disorder diagnosis. I believe in the most recent perspective on personality disorder: you have “personality disorder” and then there is how that manifests. If you go Old School, well, if you have one, you have three. At least.
(3) The smarter a person is who has mental health challenges, the harder it is to effectively “help” them.
Finally, the coping strategies that families develop to live with the personality disordered person or, more likely, persons in their midst are the only part of this whole thing worth taking on. But as near as I can tell, the only way to motivate _that_ is to make the whole pattern un-ignorable.
Anyway, the family* call was basically the spouses of the siblings of the person who is undergoing “treatment”. _One_ sibling showed up, and carefully had to leave before the part of the phone call in which Dude The Buck Stops Here message was delivered. Yes, dear reader, every last one of the siblings managed to Not Be On the Call, and for the same reason. They all had to “work”. My husband did manage to be in eavesdropping range for the part where I dropped my hammer; he liked what I had to say.
The facility appears to be doing a solid job, and aiming the person in question at full independence. I remain skeptical that this will actually happen, but at least everyone is saying the right words.
I had phone calls with K. (early, because she wanted to watch the “debate” shitshow — and she called it a shitshow long before it even started) and my sister after the webex call.
One final remark about the webex call / meeting / intervention. That really was a hostage video. It was sort of awesome. I wish I could hire people to do behavior mod upon demand / request. I have so many projects for them. But it does NOT work that way and honestly, probably for the best.
Because we did not have to drive out to Northampton for a closing, we did have date night. I went over some of the call with R., and I made sure he was _very_ clear that the facility specifically got into the But What If He Is In Jail and Calls to Ask for Help. I was dismayed that R. hesitated. *sigh* The idea that after this much time and this much money and _so many wrecked cars_, there is still a temptation to, oh, but that would be so bad, we would have to impulse is bonkers. That is just teaching the person undergoing treatment, oh, okay, what I have to do to get them to-engage is XYZ. Gotcha. NOT a lesson we should be teaching.
I bought _Daughter of Dragons_, the first in the follow up trilogy to Pillars of Reality. Nice to see that shoving the men in their lives off of trains runs in the family!
So. Many. Calls!
I had a delightful call with J.
I had a very anticipated, should I say dreaded, webex call (first webex call ever, not a huge fan, but, whatever). This was a family* call with a facility in Florida where a family member is undergoing “treatment”. I’ve been funding “treatment” at this facility and a previous one in Massachusetts for this family member since February. I have at no point really believed that any of this “treatment” would result in lasting change in the person undergoing the “treatment”, but, you know, if you are not willing to try something, criticism is cheap. If you _are_ willing to try something, it is expensive. Very, very expensive. I feel like at this point, the amount of criticism I can engage in is _extensive_. Mostly, it boils down to what I knew going into this thing. Here, I will summarize.
(1) Personality disorders run in families. I do not care if it is genetic or if it is family culture or both. It runs in families.
(2) People get diagnosed with all kinds of bonkers stuff before they get a personality disorder diagnosis. I believe in the most recent perspective on personality disorder: you have “personality disorder” and then there is how that manifests. If you go Old School, well, if you have one, you have three. At least.
(3) The smarter a person is who has mental health challenges, the harder it is to effectively “help” them.
Finally, the coping strategies that families develop to live with the personality disordered person or, more likely, persons in their midst are the only part of this whole thing worth taking on. But as near as I can tell, the only way to motivate _that_ is to make the whole pattern un-ignorable.
Anyway, the family* call was basically the spouses of the siblings of the person who is undergoing “treatment”. _One_ sibling showed up, and carefully had to leave before the part of the phone call in which Dude The Buck Stops Here message was delivered. Yes, dear reader, every last one of the siblings managed to Not Be On the Call, and for the same reason. They all had to “work”. My husband did manage to be in eavesdropping range for the part where I dropped my hammer; he liked what I had to say.
The facility appears to be doing a solid job, and aiming the person in question at full independence. I remain skeptical that this will actually happen, but at least everyone is saying the right words.
I had phone calls with K. (early, because she wanted to watch the “debate” shitshow — and she called it a shitshow long before it even started) and my sister after the webex call.
One final remark about the webex call / meeting / intervention. That really was a hostage video. It was sort of awesome. I wish I could hire people to do behavior mod upon demand / request. I have so many projects for them. But it does NOT work that way and honestly, probably for the best.
Because we did not have to drive out to Northampton for a closing, we did have date night. I went over some of the call with R., and I made sure he was _very_ clear that the facility specifically got into the But What If He Is In Jail and Calls to Ask for Help. I was dismayed that R. hesitated. *sigh* The idea that after this much time and this much money and _so many wrecked cars_, there is still a temptation to, oh, but that would be so bad, we would have to impulse is bonkers. That is just teaching the person undergoing treatment, oh, okay, what I have to do to get them to-engage is XYZ. Gotcha. NOT a lesson we should be teaching.