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walkitoutYesterday afternoon, A.’s bus dropped her off, and her adorable companion on the bus, V., had a riddle they had been discussing. I didn’t hear the original version, the summary I heard involved someone guarding a bridge who told people who approached that if they told the truth, he’d beat them to death with sticks and if they lied he’d throw them in the river and they would drown. What should I do?
I immediately replied, “I would say, “That is a criminal threat. I am going to call 911.” If I was attacked before the police arrived, I would take the stick from the guard and choke him out with it (I used to train in martial arts and actually have a few techniques that I could try to deploy to accomplish this). When the police arrived, I would say, “He started it”.” Needless to say, this was not the anticipated response. The bus driver said he liked this answer better than his own (I don’t know what he came up with). I later determined that A.had suggested telling a half truth, and getting to cross on that basis (nice!). I don’t run very fast (okay, at all), so it never occurred to me to run away. Ooops!
V. next asked, what if the police don’t believe you? The bus driver, A. and I collectively figured out that there was probably a pile of rotting bodies of people who had beaten to death for telling the truth, or drowned in the river for lying, so we would tell the police to drag the river and dig around a bit under the bridge.
I observed — I forget what prompted this, and it is really the most reprehensible part of my comments on the topic — that if this all occurred in some corrupt small town in Texas or similar, where the person at the bridge was actually the chief of police, then this wasn’t going to work and the smartest thing to do would be to kill the person at the bridge, never tell anyone, leave and hope no one ever figured it out.
None of us — I’m only now contemplating this — actually questioned what the bridge led to and did we really need to cross it / have any kind of right to cross it. I feel that the guard’s questionable strategy for dealing with people approaching it means there was something really hinky going on here, so I don’t actually feel too bad about it.
When I was younger, and kinder, I probably would have said something like, oh, I guess I just wouldn’t cross the bridge then. And if I had produced an answer such as the one I produced yesterday, I would have been castigated for exiting the Proper Frame of the Puzzle. These days, nothing really slows me down in my complete failure to notice that There Is a Box and I Should Stay In It. I just trash it like a wet paper bag and then wonder why the bus driver is looking at me like I came from another planet.
Possibly I did. (I swim well. Here’s hoping the bridge isn’t too high, the water is deep enough and there aren’t any rocks I need to avoid.)
ETA: If anyone can find a version of this riddle online or in a book, I am moderately curious about the details of the original. If an original exists.
ETAYA: I apologize to V. today for disrupting her riddle. She says that there is no 911 in the world of the riddle. She also says that the person block the bridge maybe raises and lowers it? So if you off that person, you may still not be able to cross. She asserts there is no other route, and that the route and destination are not breaking into / trespassing, but just a road to an otherwise ordinary village. The correct answer is apparently, "I'm going to drown in the river", the idea being that if it is true, you won't drown because you'll be beaten to death with sticks, and if it is a lie, then it will be true, because you will be thrown in the river and drown. I personally think the wording could use a little improvement (being wrong != lying), but that minor quibble aside, this is really one of those Star Trek Robot Exploded With Logic Things. And I'm increasingly a Gordian Knot kinda person. With the sword, that is.
I immediately replied, “I would say, “That is a criminal threat. I am going to call 911.” If I was attacked before the police arrived, I would take the stick from the guard and choke him out with it (I used to train in martial arts and actually have a few techniques that I could try to deploy to accomplish this). When the police arrived, I would say, “He started it”.” Needless to say, this was not the anticipated response. The bus driver said he liked this answer better than his own (I don’t know what he came up with). I later determined that A.had suggested telling a half truth, and getting to cross on that basis (nice!). I don’t run very fast (okay, at all), so it never occurred to me to run away. Ooops!
V. next asked, what if the police don’t believe you? The bus driver, A. and I collectively figured out that there was probably a pile of rotting bodies of people who had beaten to death for telling the truth, or drowned in the river for lying, so we would tell the police to drag the river and dig around a bit under the bridge.
I observed — I forget what prompted this, and it is really the most reprehensible part of my comments on the topic — that if this all occurred in some corrupt small town in Texas or similar, where the person at the bridge was actually the chief of police, then this wasn’t going to work and the smartest thing to do would be to kill the person at the bridge, never tell anyone, leave and hope no one ever figured it out.
None of us — I’m only now contemplating this — actually questioned what the bridge led to and did we really need to cross it / have any kind of right to cross it. I feel that the guard’s questionable strategy for dealing with people approaching it means there was something really hinky going on here, so I don’t actually feel too bad about it.
When I was younger, and kinder, I probably would have said something like, oh, I guess I just wouldn’t cross the bridge then. And if I had produced an answer such as the one I produced yesterday, I would have been castigated for exiting the Proper Frame of the Puzzle. These days, nothing really slows me down in my complete failure to notice that There Is a Box and I Should Stay In It. I just trash it like a wet paper bag and then wonder why the bus driver is looking at me like I came from another planet.
Possibly I did. (I swim well. Here’s hoping the bridge isn’t too high, the water is deep enough and there aren’t any rocks I need to avoid.)
ETA: If anyone can find a version of this riddle online or in a book, I am moderately curious about the details of the original. If an original exists.
ETAYA: I apologize to V. today for disrupting her riddle. She says that there is no 911 in the world of the riddle. She also says that the person block the bridge maybe raises and lowers it? So if you off that person, you may still not be able to cross. She asserts there is no other route, and that the route and destination are not breaking into / trespassing, but just a road to an otherwise ordinary village. The correct answer is apparently, "I'm going to drown in the river", the idea being that if it is true, you won't drown because you'll be beaten to death with sticks, and if it is a lie, then it will be true, because you will be thrown in the river and drown. I personally think the wording could use a little improvement (being wrong != lying), but that minor quibble aside, this is really one of those Star Trek Robot Exploded With Logic Things. And I'm increasingly a Gordian Knot kinda person. With the sword, that is.