Sibling sexual abuse

[walkitout]

Every few years, I take a look around to see if anyone is talking about this yet. I talk about _everything_ because, well, I'm inherently inappropriate. It's just the way I am. But this topic is amazingly, persistently inappropriate. I've been quite forthright about what happened when I was young, but it has been insanely hard to find any resources.

There's finally stuff out there!

http://www.pandys.org/articles/siblingsexualabuse.html

With like, definitions and everything!

"Sibling child sexual abuse is defined as "sexual behavior between siblings that is not age appropriate, not transitory, and not motivated by developmentally, mutually appropriate curiosity" (Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 1998)."

Yeah, that sounds about right.

"More specifically, studies have shown that between 2% (Leder, 1991) and 4% (Finkelhor, 1999) of people have been sexually victimized by a sibling as the sexual contact involved some degree of forced or coercive activity."

Low percentages. I feel ... special?

"However, the line is crossed from sexual exploration to sexual abuse when sexual activity occurs between siblings where there is a significant difference in developmental age (more than 3 years), or where there is any use of force, tricks or coercion by one of the siblings."

Love those rules! Yeah, that one applies.

I guess the good news is, people are finally talking about this. Yay? And people wonder why I am such a firm believer in adult supervision.

Comments

[ethelmay.livejournal.com]

The Caffaro cite is to a book: http://www.amazon.com/Sibling-Abuse-Trauma-Assessment-Intervention/dp/0789004917 , recently updated (2013) as http://www.amazon.com/Sibling-Abuse-Trauma-Assessment-Intervention/dp/0415506867/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

[ethelmay.livejournal.com]

Oh, great. Just great. Allison Conn-Caffaro, co-author on the above, was a follower of this guy and has been reported to have helped him to escape. One of these things should not be like the other...

I'm trying to figure out what happened

[walkitout]

Here's the timeline I have so far.

The book written with her husband was published in 2008. Then in 2000, someone with that name is posting these reviews of that guru's work on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A3FOKDKXQS602F/

Oooh, life, the universe and everything is explained!

By 2008, she's producing videos at the Ashram in Austin and trying to get permission for him to come back to the compound to live (the initial indictments have already occurred). And by the time of the link you found, she's out of the country and helping him escape. With a name change.

I'm also attempting to track down the other author/husband, because I know from family history and personal experience that really random shit goes down when a spouse or other family member experiences an unusual religious conversion experience.

Re: I'm trying to figure out what happened

[walkitout]

If anyone feels ambitious, this book appears to be an expose about the guru in question and another guy.

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Lies-Hindu-Gurus-Cult--ebook/dp/B009BDS3PG/

And it really needs to be said . . .

[walkitout]

It's important to remember to be compassionate to people with an abuse background and/or serious mental health issues. Well, we should try to remember to be compassionate to everyone, but _especially_ people who have been maltreated and who suffer mental health problems that were triggered or exacerbated by that abuse.

It would seem to me that the online breadcrumbs of Allison Conn-Caffaro's life are unfortunate, but indicative of serious issues that no one could successfully deal with without significant support and assistance throughout the life process. It's tragic that her journey took such a terrible turn.

Re: I'm trying to figure out what happened

[ethelmay.livejournal.com]

Okay, I thought the newer edition still had her name on it. It doesn't. (Google Books brings up the older edition but says 2014 for some reason -- I think that's what threw me off.) BTW, you've got a typo there -- you mean 1998 rather than 2008.

I saw something on Usenet about the husband trying to find out if that group was considered a cult. It sounds as though he wasn't involved, which makes me feel a lot better about the whole business. I was worried they were both doing the "But I am an expert on sexual abuse, and I know there is nothing wrong here!" dance. (Translation: I am either incredibly naive, or in it up to my neck.)

Re: I'm trying to figure out what happened

[walkitout]

You are correct. The book was first published 1998. Can't fix it above because of replies.

Also, I am wondering about their age difference. I have a 10 year rule for this reason, but friends and sisters have violated it so I never know how seriously to take my red flag on age differences.