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Friday: money order, Fancy Friday
Oct. 15th, 2021 11:00 pmI went to the bank to get a money order for the new apartment for S. and the kids. I searched for a place for lunch near the halfway point between where they live and where I live, which is basically Springfield / Chicopee / Holyoke. I didn’t want to go to Springfield, and I am not a huge fan of Chicopee, so I tried “kids menu vegan Holyoke”, because I figured it it turned up anything good, it would be perfect. Pizza D’Action will be what we try — I want the loaded fries already.
Fancy Friday was extra fun today. I’ve been thinking a lot about the implications of not assuming a default of straight / het / cis / whatever. People of all ages really struggle to counter the default, and I’m increasingly convinced that the default may not even be an accurate representation of most (51%) people’s path through life / lived experience. In particular, I feel like one implication is that part of good parenting with this perspective is not only making sure that the kiddos know they are loved regardless of their identity / expression / orientation, but also to make sure that there are conscious opportunities created to share where they are as we go through our lives together. It is _hard_ to start that conversation, and having parents that one is not _too_ worried about being rejecting or stigmatizing may not be enough. Obviously, snooping and demanding is still a Poor Parenting Choice! And asking is definitely a nice, straightforward way to create an opportunity. But there are probably a lot of others, and if we think, as parents, about our strategies for encouraging the kiddos to share difficult material (“I had a fight with my friend” “I got in trouble at school / in activity X” “I hate piano lessons and want to quit”), we can probably figure out ways to use those strategies with gender identity, expression and orientation.
Fancy Friday was extra fun today. I’ve been thinking a lot about the implications of not assuming a default of straight / het / cis / whatever. People of all ages really struggle to counter the default, and I’m increasingly convinced that the default may not even be an accurate representation of most (51%) people’s path through life / lived experience. In particular, I feel like one implication is that part of good parenting with this perspective is not only making sure that the kiddos know they are loved regardless of their identity / expression / orientation, but also to make sure that there are conscious opportunities created to share where they are as we go through our lives together. It is _hard_ to start that conversation, and having parents that one is not _too_ worried about being rejecting or stigmatizing may not be enough. Obviously, snooping and demanding is still a Poor Parenting Choice! And asking is definitely a nice, straightforward way to create an opportunity. But there are probably a lot of others, and if we think, as parents, about our strategies for encouraging the kiddos to share difficult material (“I had a fight with my friend” “I got in trouble at school / in activity X” “I hate piano lessons and want to quit”), we can probably figure out ways to use those strategies with gender identity, expression and orientation.