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walkitoutThere’s a trope in romance novels, “Big Misunderstanding”, and it drives me and a lot of other readers completely mad, and apparently other people like it. In general, obviously, we would prefer people actually have healthy communication styles, and we grudgingly respect Big Misunderstanding novels where it isn’t exactly a case of lacking healthy communication. Anyway.
What if the problem I have with the Big Misunderstanding is NOT the failure to engage in communication? What if my real issue is that I am horrified that MC1 could really believe that about MC2 and still be attracted to them? What if I am horrified that MC2 knows that MC1 believes that about MC2, and won’t listen to MC2’s explanation (or anyone else’s) … and then MC2 still wants to be with MC1?
What if I’ve never been reacting to the fact of the failure to communicate, but rather the way these people go through the world, and their willingness to contort themselves to fit into the distorted interaction with reality that the other clearly demonstrates? I’m not able to accept a relationship with someone who thinks so badly of me. What if I’m just horrified by other people being willing to accept comparable relationships?
I mean, could be a boundary issue on my part (to be fair, fiction). Could be that I’m trying to convince myself that I was right to reject the relationship that would force me to contort myself to fit their distorted idea of me and if it was right for me, it’s right for others and blah blah blah bad reasons to evangelize. I wonder what would happen if I went back and (re)read a Big Misunderstanding novel right now?
What if the problem I have with the Big Misunderstanding is NOT the failure to engage in communication? What if my real issue is that I am horrified that MC1 could really believe that about MC2 and still be attracted to them? What if I am horrified that MC2 knows that MC1 believes that about MC2, and won’t listen to MC2’s explanation (or anyone else’s) … and then MC2 still wants to be with MC1?
What if I’ve never been reacting to the fact of the failure to communicate, but rather the way these people go through the world, and their willingness to contort themselves to fit into the distorted interaction with reality that the other clearly demonstrates? I’m not able to accept a relationship with someone who thinks so badly of me. What if I’m just horrified by other people being willing to accept comparable relationships?
I mean, could be a boundary issue on my part (to be fair, fiction). Could be that I’m trying to convince myself that I was right to reject the relationship that would force me to contort myself to fit their distorted idea of me and if it was right for me, it’s right for others and blah blah blah bad reasons to evangelize. I wonder what would happen if I went back and (re)read a Big Misunderstanding novel right now?