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Happy 4th!
Jul. 4th, 2024 03:20 pmWe’ve been cleaning.
Yesterday, R. vacuumed the stairs and some of the downstairs because he was annoyed, and because I’ve been bugging him about why so opposed to having some kind of an organized approach to sharing the work of the household. It’s clear (now) to both of us that this is of-a-piece with his opposition to negotiation. It’s so much fucking work walking him through all this stuff. I remember all the things I tried to get to a shared calendar, to a shared grocery shopping list. I remember the repeated arguments over when to run the dishwasher until I finally just said enough, end of day, if we forget then first thing after the breakfast dishes. But it took so much evidence of how it works less well if things sit for three days “until it’s full” and how I keep having to handwash stuff because I need it clean every day, etc. I remember all the ridiculous arguments about his bike clothes, when he first put them in with regular laundry (had to redo it because it came out all smelling terrible) and then let them collect and made the entire 2nd floor stink so he could do several at once.
In the meantime, A. cleaned the lego storage unit that holds some controllers and remote controls and an apple tv box and a kindle thing and whatever under her TV. I vacuumed part of her room (mostly the dust bunnies around the lego storage box) and ordered her a pink, metal, lockerstyle thing to replace the lego storage thing.
I walked with M.
I made brownies.
I ordered a big outdoor entry mat, because I think that there would be less dirt tracked around the house by T. if we had better catcher mats outdoors and indoors in the places he goes in and out. The ones by the door to the garage in the kitchen are fraying badly, but other than being ugly, and there being 3 of them instead of one big one, they work pretty well. But the Ruggable at the entry doesn’t work well, and the outdoor mat is too small and kinda beat up and I’m not convinced it’s that useful anyway. It took a while to talk R. through what I had in mind, but he’s mostly on board now. I’m going to want a runner down the hall from the front entry to the eat in part of the kitchen, but I’m waiting on that until last because I may repurpose something I already own.
I asked T. to try to get the stairs vacuumed about once a week. He didn’t argue at all, altho I initially was like, every three days, and he wasn’t overjoyed about that, but once a week he thinks he can do and honestly that would be awesome. So much less argument there.
I stripped, washed and remade my bed and A.’s.
I asked T. to vacuum the upstairs hall, which he did promptly.
I Eufy’d the master bathroom, cleaned the tub, cleaned some sinks, mirrors and toilets and am washing towels. I took some trash downstairs and cleaned a wastebasket.
It’s been a busy day.
ETA: We’ve cleared off the side tables (other than coasters) and I found clean sheets and pillows and blankets. R. is on his way to Logan and it looks like the plane is a few minutes from landing. The dishwasher has another 10 minutes or so, and the dryer has another 15. I’m gonna sit down for a bit because I am tired.
Yesterday, R. vacuumed the stairs and some of the downstairs because he was annoyed, and because I’ve been bugging him about why so opposed to having some kind of an organized approach to sharing the work of the household. It’s clear (now) to both of us that this is of-a-piece with his opposition to negotiation. It’s so much fucking work walking him through all this stuff. I remember all the things I tried to get to a shared calendar, to a shared grocery shopping list. I remember the repeated arguments over when to run the dishwasher until I finally just said enough, end of day, if we forget then first thing after the breakfast dishes. But it took so much evidence of how it works less well if things sit for three days “until it’s full” and how I keep having to handwash stuff because I need it clean every day, etc. I remember all the ridiculous arguments about his bike clothes, when he first put them in with regular laundry (had to redo it because it came out all smelling terrible) and then let them collect and made the entire 2nd floor stink so he could do several at once.
In the meantime, A. cleaned the lego storage unit that holds some controllers and remote controls and an apple tv box and a kindle thing and whatever under her TV. I vacuumed part of her room (mostly the dust bunnies around the lego storage box) and ordered her a pink, metal, lockerstyle thing to replace the lego storage thing.
I walked with M.
I made brownies.
I ordered a big outdoor entry mat, because I think that there would be less dirt tracked around the house by T. if we had better catcher mats outdoors and indoors in the places he goes in and out. The ones by the door to the garage in the kitchen are fraying badly, but other than being ugly, and there being 3 of them instead of one big one, they work pretty well. But the Ruggable at the entry doesn’t work well, and the outdoor mat is too small and kinda beat up and I’m not convinced it’s that useful anyway. It took a while to talk R. through what I had in mind, but he’s mostly on board now. I’m going to want a runner down the hall from the front entry to the eat in part of the kitchen, but I’m waiting on that until last because I may repurpose something I already own.
I asked T. to try to get the stairs vacuumed about once a week. He didn’t argue at all, altho I initially was like, every three days, and he wasn’t overjoyed about that, but once a week he thinks he can do and honestly that would be awesome. So much less argument there.
I stripped, washed and remade my bed and A.’s.
I asked T. to vacuum the upstairs hall, which he did promptly.
I Eufy’d the master bathroom, cleaned the tub, cleaned some sinks, mirrors and toilets and am washing towels. I took some trash downstairs and cleaned a wastebasket.
It’s been a busy day.
ETA: We’ve cleared off the side tables (other than coasters) and I found clean sheets and pillows and blankets. R. is on his way to Logan and it looks like the plane is a few minutes from landing. The dishwasher has another 10 minutes or so, and the dryer has another 15. I’m gonna sit down for a bit because I am tired.