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Low 70s for most of the day, a little breeze, not a lot of bugs, not buggy. Truly, the perfect day. I walked with M. I zoomed with I. A. got her portal playdate.
A. and I handed cards over to R., and I also got out the enormous 3D card A. got him some years ago (we try to do this every year, it is hilariously huge and awesome).
I made some cookies last night using cashews, cocoa nibs, bourbon, brown sugar, a bit of avocado oil. No egg, and they were _fragile_ but _super yummy_. I made about 9 total, and had 2? I think? R. had the rest of them so that was probably the Father’s Day goody. He mowed the lawn today.
R. and I had a useful discussion about what’s going on with the marginally relevant and consistently unhelpful commentary when I’m trying to get through something. My major strategies for avoiding this problem involve going elsewhere and closing the door OR sending other people away from me. This isn’t always possible, and it’s really not a solution; more of a stopgap.
When I insert myself into someone else’s problem solving, I’m usually there for one of two reasons. I think there’s a hazard that they are not accounting for OR they are increasingly frustrated, and I’m going to ask them if they have tried the obvious next step that I have not yet seen them attempt (or evidence of previous attempt) and/or offer emotional support / validation (do you want a hug, here’s a glass of water, do you need a snack type of thing). I’ll usually step _back_ out of things if the hazard is addressed (acknowledgement can be enough), the frustration abates. I’m not committed to doing the thing for them; I’m committed to dealing with the hazard or the frustration.
R. is not even remotely the same. To be fair, I didn’t used to be like this. I learned painfully and slowly over decades.
ETA: I read _The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet_ by Becky Chambers and wow, it is sooooo good. Nobody really explained to me that this is a book where people continuously validate each other throughout the entire book. It is astonishing. I’ve never read a book quite like this, and am so looking forward to more. Also, super good world building, nice sapphic interspecies relationship, great found family, some really _excellent_ depictions of nerds.
A. and I handed cards over to R., and I also got out the enormous 3D card A. got him some years ago (we try to do this every year, it is hilariously huge and awesome).
I made some cookies last night using cashews, cocoa nibs, bourbon, brown sugar, a bit of avocado oil. No egg, and they were _fragile_ but _super yummy_. I made about 9 total, and had 2? I think? R. had the rest of them so that was probably the Father’s Day goody. He mowed the lawn today.
R. and I had a useful discussion about what’s going on with the marginally relevant and consistently unhelpful commentary when I’m trying to get through something. My major strategies for avoiding this problem involve going elsewhere and closing the door OR sending other people away from me. This isn’t always possible, and it’s really not a solution; more of a stopgap.
When I insert myself into someone else’s problem solving, I’m usually there for one of two reasons. I think there’s a hazard that they are not accounting for OR they are increasingly frustrated, and I’m going to ask them if they have tried the obvious next step that I have not yet seen them attempt (or evidence of previous attempt) and/or offer emotional support / validation (do you want a hug, here’s a glass of water, do you need a snack type of thing). I’ll usually step _back_ out of things if the hazard is addressed (acknowledgement can be enough), the frustration abates. I’m not committed to doing the thing for them; I’m committed to dealing with the hazard or the frustration.
R. is not even remotely the same. To be fair, I didn’t used to be like this. I learned painfully and slowly over decades.
ETA: I read _The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet_ by Becky Chambers and wow, it is sooooo good. Nobody really explained to me that this is a book where people continuously validate each other throughout the entire book. It is astonishing. I’ve never read a book quite like this, and am so looking forward to more. Also, super good world building, nice sapphic interspecies relationship, great found family, some really _excellent_ depictions of nerds.