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We went to Lightyear, 11 am show at O’Neil. It was great. We went as a family, and for whatever reason — people traveling, it being 11 am on a Sunday, etc. — the theatre was largely empty. Yay! So much fun. I loved that movie. In my headcanon, the cat is the hero of that movie. Every major event that moves the plot forward involves the cat. Altho honestly, the cat is just there as the original Hawthorne’s reach beyond the grave to care for her family, including her chosen family, Buzz.
Stay for the after credits scenes! There are three, and I know you’ll see the second and go, no, she must have meant two, but there is a third! Stick around to the very end of the credits and after the Disney and Pixar logos.
I told T. that he had to make sure he wasn’t out with the sitter for more than 8 hours. Wow, did that cause some havoc. Every single effort I make to create any kind of rule or structure for T. and the sitter, the sitter has a hissy fit, and T. asks a million questions. I had a headache and was hungry going into this, and it did not get better (headache was hormone related).
I have plenty of Reasons for wanting to reduce the time spent with the sitter, but a big one right now is that the sitter is looking like death not even warmed over by the time she drops T. off. This seems bad! She could have a car accident. Someone could get hurt or die. The stories I’m hearing from the kids (and, honestly, her) suggest that driving is getting more challenging for her.
Basically, I monitor how much people complain about tailgaters and what they do when someone is tailgating. I listen for tone, and I listen for whether they pulled over to let the person behind them pass. If you are a sensible person, who is emotionally well-regulated, you won’t have a lot of tail gater stories that are more than, jackass wanted to go 50 in a 25. I pulled over and let him get the ticket; better him than me. Any story that involves trying to prevent the person from passing (speeding up in an area where passing is allowed, for example) suggests not sensible. Any story that lasts for more than 2 minutes with a rising angry tone suggests not emotionally well-regulated. Look, we’ve all been there, and we regret it, and also, our better selves know that we should have handled that differently and when we tell those stories — IF we tell those stories — we tell them with a chagrined tone and expression of remorse and maybe we go take a nap or whatever. The sitter’s stories have always tended towards a moral of I Showed Him, Didn’t I (not only without an impish chuckle, but without any ha ha ha at all, which is worrisome all by itself).
No one should have to work more than 8 hours in a row, so I figured a simple rule of whatever time you leave, make sure you are back in 8 hours, should be non-controversial! And yet. Anyway. I explained that I had some concerns about how tired she was looking, and we know — because her other stories are all about her terrible sleep — that she doesn’t sleep well, and that can make driving more dangerous. I want to make sure she makes it home safely after leaving us so, etc. Also, older drivers generally start reducing night time driving and even twilight driving, because it’s more difficult for them, so I want to make sure that she can get home before it’s too dark also.
I didn’t ask T. to share any of this with the sitter, other than to tell the sitter what time he had to be home by each day. However, he did, and his texts tend towards the incoherent word salad end of texts, and the sitter didn’t realize that I was also on the group text and so she said something intemperate about me. I quoted it back, said I didn’t know what that was about and then explained that it was challenging currently for T. and I to find time for shared goals such as getting him ready for camp, and so I wanted him to not be gone for more than 8 hours at a shot. That seems to have shut down some of the trouble, and then T. and I had a conversation about how he’s about to turn 17, and is working on getting a job and his driver’s license and so he should really be thinking about how he is going to wind down hanging out with the sitter because with a job he won’t have time, with a license he won’t need a driver, and I’m flat out not paying for a sitter once he turns 18. He was a little sad, altho he acknowledged that that made sense. I hope he gets a job; I think he’ll be happier with the social and tasks associated with a job, and he’ll have a better sense of the value of money.
None of which helped the headache. I went to bed early, but I took him for a twilight drive first, and we’ll do a night time drive probably tomorrow. I wanted this to be a night time drive, but everyone was like, I don’t want it to be too late! And I’m like, it’s just after summer solstice. Night time is late. Come on. If you wait until night time is early, the weather is crap.
Also, family zoom was abbreviated and late, because while I was napping, R. totally forgot it. T. was out to dinner with a friend.
Stay for the after credits scenes! There are three, and I know you’ll see the second and go, no, she must have meant two, but there is a third! Stick around to the very end of the credits and after the Disney and Pixar logos.
I told T. that he had to make sure he wasn’t out with the sitter for more than 8 hours. Wow, did that cause some havoc. Every single effort I make to create any kind of rule or structure for T. and the sitter, the sitter has a hissy fit, and T. asks a million questions. I had a headache and was hungry going into this, and it did not get better (headache was hormone related).
I have plenty of Reasons for wanting to reduce the time spent with the sitter, but a big one right now is that the sitter is looking like death not even warmed over by the time she drops T. off. This seems bad! She could have a car accident. Someone could get hurt or die. The stories I’m hearing from the kids (and, honestly, her) suggest that driving is getting more challenging for her.
Basically, I monitor how much people complain about tailgaters and what they do when someone is tailgating. I listen for tone, and I listen for whether they pulled over to let the person behind them pass. If you are a sensible person, who is emotionally well-regulated, you won’t have a lot of tail gater stories that are more than, jackass wanted to go 50 in a 25. I pulled over and let him get the ticket; better him than me. Any story that involves trying to prevent the person from passing (speeding up in an area where passing is allowed, for example) suggests not sensible. Any story that lasts for more than 2 minutes with a rising angry tone suggests not emotionally well-regulated. Look, we’ve all been there, and we regret it, and also, our better selves know that we should have handled that differently and when we tell those stories — IF we tell those stories — we tell them with a chagrined tone and expression of remorse and maybe we go take a nap or whatever. The sitter’s stories have always tended towards a moral of I Showed Him, Didn’t I (not only without an impish chuckle, but without any ha ha ha at all, which is worrisome all by itself).
No one should have to work more than 8 hours in a row, so I figured a simple rule of whatever time you leave, make sure you are back in 8 hours, should be non-controversial! And yet. Anyway. I explained that I had some concerns about how tired she was looking, and we know — because her other stories are all about her terrible sleep — that she doesn’t sleep well, and that can make driving more dangerous. I want to make sure she makes it home safely after leaving us so, etc. Also, older drivers generally start reducing night time driving and even twilight driving, because it’s more difficult for them, so I want to make sure that she can get home before it’s too dark also.
I didn’t ask T. to share any of this with the sitter, other than to tell the sitter what time he had to be home by each day. However, he did, and his texts tend towards the incoherent word salad end of texts, and the sitter didn’t realize that I was also on the group text and so she said something intemperate about me. I quoted it back, said I didn’t know what that was about and then explained that it was challenging currently for T. and I to find time for shared goals such as getting him ready for camp, and so I wanted him to not be gone for more than 8 hours at a shot. That seems to have shut down some of the trouble, and then T. and I had a conversation about how he’s about to turn 17, and is working on getting a job and his driver’s license and so he should really be thinking about how he is going to wind down hanging out with the sitter because with a job he won’t have time, with a license he won’t need a driver, and I’m flat out not paying for a sitter once he turns 18. He was a little sad, altho he acknowledged that that made sense. I hope he gets a job; I think he’ll be happier with the social and tasks associated with a job, and he’ll have a better sense of the value of money.
None of which helped the headache. I went to bed early, but I took him for a twilight drive first, and we’ll do a night time drive probably tomorrow. I wanted this to be a night time drive, but everyone was like, I don’t want it to be too late! And I’m like, it’s just after summer solstice. Night time is late. Come on. If you wait until night time is early, the weather is crap.
Also, family zoom was abbreviated and late, because while I was napping, R. totally forgot it. T. was out to dinner with a friend.