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I walked with M. in the afternoon, and I walked to pick up A. at school because it was over 40 degrees and not precipitating. The ground still had some wet on it, so I didn’t bring wheels — we really did walk. She was not too amused; I should have had her use the bathroom before we left. Live and learn, I guess!
Wednesday was an astonishingly expensive day for me, as I paid estimateds and home owners due’s for DVC. I had also (on Tuesday, IIRC, but it might have been Monday) worked with T. to order the things on his wish list that he didn’t get from other people. A lot of that arrived and was unboxed throughout the day. The frames I ordered for the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex photos arrived, so I got those up on the wall and did a little reshuffling of theme park photos.
I also _finally_ managed to get Disney photos to sort of work for me, so I’ve deleted the ones that are not of people in our group, and just need to download the balance and upload them to Flickr. Then I can redo still more ride photos. I really l like doing this, but it is fiddly work and tends to be time consuming and difficult to predict how time consuming, so it may take a little while to get through it.
I went to bed early, but had to get up a couple times because other people seemed to think they needed me for something. Mostly, in T.’s case, to nag at me to do things like: move the garage to the other side of the house, put wood siding on the part of the house outside his bedroom, and make it so the house has exposed beams / wood work. These demands are shockingly expensive to contemplate, but of course that’s sort of pointless to bring up. I’ve started acknowledging explicitly that these are things he wants and then telling him they are not going to happen. He argues that I should support him in what he wants. I point out that he isn’t supporting me in what I want. Standoff. Lather, rinse, repeat, usually ending in, I want to move back to the house in NH. It is interesting to me that he asked to have wood siding put on the exterior of the house around his bedroom. I have successfully taught him that while he gets to make decisions about his own room, he does not get to decide about, say, the master bedroom. He is learning some boundaries. But I did not explicitly teach an inside / outside boundary, and I haven’t completely articulated much less conveyed to him a Only Some (Infra)Structural Changes. We will do some wiring for him, but some wiring is an incredible amount of work for no benefit that we see. We won’t put plumbing in his room. Etc.
With the bigger projects that he convinces me to take on, by the time I complete them, he is starting to ask why we did them, and when I say because he wanted them, he is starting to deny that he ever asked for them. This raises a lot of questions in my mind. I know he has a lot of anxiety about wanting to put his desires on my to do list so they won’t be forgotten, and I knew that he was concerned he would forget them, and I know I was driven to violent madness by him constantly verbalizing the demands so we would neither of us forget them. However, if he is — after the fact — going to disclaim any responsibility for these things, I’m thinking there might be a strategy embedded in here after all. Yes, it goes on the list. No, I do not actually do The Thing.
Along these lines, I called the Fire Department secretary and scheduled time for T. to talk to someone to ask all his questions from a month and a half ago about smoke and fire detectors and the code and changes to the code and blah blah blah. When I told him I had done this, he asked why. I was like, because you wanted to ask them questions. And when he said, like what, I listed off the questions. Then he started asking _me_ the questions. And I’m like, no, you get to ask the guy at the fire station those questions tomorrow afternoon. I don’t know the answers. The guy at the fire station apparently does CASE classroom presentations, so I’m betting he knows what he is getting into and looks forward to it. Fingers crossed, anyway.
There are so many aspects to corporate life that make sense to me _now_ that I thought were absolutely _insane_ when I was experiencing them. If I’m going to do something, I make a plan and do it. That is definitely not how most people do things. Clearly. I can’t figure out why I didn’t understand this earlier.
Wednesday was an astonishingly expensive day for me, as I paid estimateds and home owners due’s for DVC. I had also (on Tuesday, IIRC, but it might have been Monday) worked with T. to order the things on his wish list that he didn’t get from other people. A lot of that arrived and was unboxed throughout the day. The frames I ordered for the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex photos arrived, so I got those up on the wall and did a little reshuffling of theme park photos.
I also _finally_ managed to get Disney photos to sort of work for me, so I’ve deleted the ones that are not of people in our group, and just need to download the balance and upload them to Flickr. Then I can redo still more ride photos. I really l like doing this, but it is fiddly work and tends to be time consuming and difficult to predict how time consuming, so it may take a little while to get through it.
I went to bed early, but had to get up a couple times because other people seemed to think they needed me for something. Mostly, in T.’s case, to nag at me to do things like: move the garage to the other side of the house, put wood siding on the part of the house outside his bedroom, and make it so the house has exposed beams / wood work. These demands are shockingly expensive to contemplate, but of course that’s sort of pointless to bring up. I’ve started acknowledging explicitly that these are things he wants and then telling him they are not going to happen. He argues that I should support him in what he wants. I point out that he isn’t supporting me in what I want. Standoff. Lather, rinse, repeat, usually ending in, I want to move back to the house in NH. It is interesting to me that he asked to have wood siding put on the exterior of the house around his bedroom. I have successfully taught him that while he gets to make decisions about his own room, he does not get to decide about, say, the master bedroom. He is learning some boundaries. But I did not explicitly teach an inside / outside boundary, and I haven’t completely articulated much less conveyed to him a Only Some (Infra)Structural Changes. We will do some wiring for him, but some wiring is an incredible amount of work for no benefit that we see. We won’t put plumbing in his room. Etc.
With the bigger projects that he convinces me to take on, by the time I complete them, he is starting to ask why we did them, and when I say because he wanted them, he is starting to deny that he ever asked for them. This raises a lot of questions in my mind. I know he has a lot of anxiety about wanting to put his desires on my to do list so they won’t be forgotten, and I knew that he was concerned he would forget them, and I know I was driven to violent madness by him constantly verbalizing the demands so we would neither of us forget them. However, if he is — after the fact — going to disclaim any responsibility for these things, I’m thinking there might be a strategy embedded in here after all. Yes, it goes on the list. No, I do not actually do The Thing.
Along these lines, I called the Fire Department secretary and scheduled time for T. to talk to someone to ask all his questions from a month and a half ago about smoke and fire detectors and the code and changes to the code and blah blah blah. When I told him I had done this, he asked why. I was like, because you wanted to ask them questions. And when he said, like what, I listed off the questions. Then he started asking _me_ the questions. And I’m like, no, you get to ask the guy at the fire station those questions tomorrow afternoon. I don’t know the answers. The guy at the fire station apparently does CASE classroom presentations, so I’m betting he knows what he is getting into and looks forward to it. Fingers crossed, anyway.
There are so many aspects to corporate life that make sense to me _now_ that I thought were absolutely _insane_ when I was experiencing them. If I’m going to do something, I make a plan and do it. That is definitely not how most people do things. Clearly. I can’t figure out why I didn’t understand this earlier.