Entry tags:
In Which We Return Home
I grabbed the Hold Mail out of our box (a week away and it still fits easily in the mailbox when we get home! So awesome!). There were three letters (one for everyone but me) addressed to FIL’s named people who are gonna inherit whatever (not much) asking if it’s okay to pay the biggest creditor to the estate (which is me, but is named in the letters as R.).
I opened A.’s (because it is care of parents, and I’m named so I can open that). I read it and lost my cool. I emailed the executors briefly (and cc’ed R.) saying hey, that’s not R who is the creditor. It’s _me_. The executors are SILs, but I didn’t use their names, I used “Executors” as the greeting/addressee line. They’re going to cut the check to me, which is something, but it irritates that it is likely to go through probate naming R. instead of me. Honestly, why was I even the one paying for (half of) the assisted living bill for the last few years? (Not reimbursed — if it had been, there would not have been any estate left.) And why was I paying for the round the clock nursing and aides and what not in the last months (always understood to be reimbursed, and that’s what this is about.)?
I acknowledge that there is probably something wrong with me, that I volunteered to do this. But also, there’s something really wrong with this crowd, that they didn’t.
In the spirit of Advice Book 2.0 (figure out what you want, and do that), however, I am absolutely sticking to a hard policy of No More Helping People Who Still Have Money Of Their Own Left. Clawback provisions for medicaid coverage of nursing homes makes _so_ much more sense to me now. There are plenty of people in my life who could use a hand because they don’t have any money left. I don’t need to help people who still have money to spend.
I opened A.’s (because it is care of parents, and I’m named so I can open that). I read it and lost my cool. I emailed the executors briefly (and cc’ed R.) saying hey, that’s not R who is the creditor. It’s _me_. The executors are SILs, but I didn’t use their names, I used “Executors” as the greeting/addressee line. They’re going to cut the check to me, which is something, but it irritates that it is likely to go through probate naming R. instead of me. Honestly, why was I even the one paying for (half of) the assisted living bill for the last few years? (Not reimbursed — if it had been, there would not have been any estate left.) And why was I paying for the round the clock nursing and aides and what not in the last months (always understood to be reimbursed, and that’s what this is about.)?
I acknowledge that there is probably something wrong with me, that I volunteered to do this. But also, there’s something really wrong with this crowd, that they didn’t.
In the spirit of Advice Book 2.0 (figure out what you want, and do that), however, I am absolutely sticking to a hard policy of No More Helping People Who Still Have Money Of Their Own Left. Clawback provisions for medicaid coverage of nursing homes makes _so_ much more sense to me now. There are plenty of people in my life who could use a hand because they don’t have any money left. I don’t need to help people who still have money to spend.