And for the next couple of days.

R. and T. separately drove out to Florence to look at the construction site and for meetings. I will be attending the meeting remotely. R. is sticking around later to see Dinosaur Jr. I have no idea what T.’s plans are. I helped him fold his clothes for his upcoming trip to visit relatives. He wants to do carryon only, but he keeps packing way too many clothes. We identified a laundromat about a block from his hotel on one stop, and his aunt will almost certainly help him out for the other stop. He’s absolutely terrible at folding, which is a little weird in this family, but not weird across people in general and he’s got motor skills and motor planning deficiencies to blame it on so I’m just not going to get that concerned about it.

I used up the cumin that was already ground, and I want to fry up more chicken tenders and I really like cumin for that (along with paprika and some red pepper), so I got out the small single blade coffee grinder (ancient) that we use for that, ran some rice through it because I think it smelled like fennel seed, and then ground the cumin and finally, in a fit of something or other, ran more rice through it to clean it out. I did two rounds of cumin, and it mostly refilled the bottle. I really like my metal funnel. Stuff doesn’t stick to it at all.

I walked with M. at 9 this morning, because it’s going to be hot.

Lately, I’ve been working on a slide deck filled with photos of stuff we already own (I know, super weird, right?) arranging where things will go. I mostly started with art and furniture (big stuff), and along the way, it is making apparent gaps in what we will need either because stuff we have is pretty worn and in 2 years will only be more worn, or because of the bed problem associated with living part time in 2 places. I’d rather not buy and then get rid of beds in rapid succession, so last night I called my sister to review her timeline and plans, and then I texted my niblings to ask them about what size beds they’ll want in the new house, since they currently share a room and are still on the twins from their childhood. Minimum, they probably will want twin XLs, and more likely a queen. After consultation, we have established queens, and they are fine with us using them when they will not yet be moved in, which actually covers our extra needs unless something changes. Fingers crossed!

I also had an idea that instead of one big table, I wanted to have smaller tables like 2-tops and 4-tops, restaurant style, and we could put them together for Family Meals and otherwise distribute them around bistro style. Making this work along with having an area rug in the dining room has turned into an amazing puzzle, but I think I’ve figured it out. First of all, the Must Have Border Around Area Rug is clearly optional, and if I run the rug right up against the window wall, and match the length to the windows, it should look good. Then the must have space around the table to allow the chairs when pulled out to fit on the carpet rule is tricky given the multiplicity of potential arrangements. I eventually worked out that if you aren’t going to have a seat on one side of a table (like a 2-top), you can have it right on the edge of the carpet and have one person entirely on hardwood floor and the other on carpet and each should be just fine. Working that out in detail produces multiple possible arrangements. I don’t need to know the details — I just need proof of concept, and to know the area rug size and location, so this is a huge relief. At least initially, my plan is to send my current dining room rug out to be cleaned, and then try it out in the new space. I know it is color compatible with the sideboard, lamps and maple flooring and I’m not worried about the tabletops because I can presumably pick an appropriate species and stain (I’m going to get Rockless bases and have nice wood tops made, in keeping with the restaurant theme). The current plan is 2 30x30 and 2 24x30 (2 2 or 4 tops and 2 2 tops). When bistro style, one of the 2 tops probably goes out to the reception area to serve as a table near the bar.

I used to think having multiple dining surfaces was weird, despite growing up with a round table in the eatin kitchen and a kitchen bar counter. Now I live in a house with a dining room with table, and eat in kitchen with table and a kitchen counter height seating. And we use all of it every day. The bar plus bistro tables should work out really well.

I turned on FB Marketplace again (I’d set vacation mode for our trip and then construction limited my ability to restart), and someone picked up the crystal bell yesterday. In theory, someone will be here in about an hour to pick up several other items. I haven’t even listed anything new. I’m supposed to ship out one ipad today to R.’s cousin H., and to reset another and then arrange a handoff to G. I meant to do that yesterday, but the day got away from me.

ETA: pickup happened! Woot!

I walked with M.

I had a delightful long zoom with I.

We did family zoom.

I finally started working seriously on a slide deck of where current art and furniture will go in the new house. Yeesh. So. Much. Stuff.

I got to look around at all the stuff that’s happened while I’ve been gone, and have opinions. Always fun!

It’s really crowded with drilling equipment at the top (they are drilling the geothermal well field), so I parked next to E.’s car by the well head and walked up. So when we were done, E., D. and I walked down, and D. kept going because he’d ridden his motorcycle and parked by the conservation area entrance. I talked their ears off for a bit about impressionism and looking at paintings from a different distance / angle. I mentioned the Sargent at the Clark, which E. hadn’t realized was there, and I figured later I’d send him a link to it. Apparently I wasn’t done babbling about art, but I figured if I was going to inflict this on someone else, I might as well save it for later here as well.

-=-=-=-=-=-

https://www.jssgallery.org/Paintings/A_Street_in_Venice.htm

I don’t know if you have ever noticed the upside down tree outside the Clark, but it’s easily one of the coolest parts of a visit to the Clark.

https://www.clarkart.edu/exhibition/detail/penone

The commentary at that link is not what I think about when I’m looking at that. When I’m at the Clark, I’m always thinking about how weird it is to try to make sure that a bunch of art would survive a nuclear attack that destroyed both Boston and NYC. What’s the point of art without people? It does mean there’s an astonishing collection of art conveniently located near where I will be living, however, so it would be rude to complain. But that upside down tree captures perfectly all of the inversion and contradiction that I feel at the Clark. There’s life struggling, but on very shaky foundations.

Mass Moca’s amuse bouche (or digestif, I suppose depending on whether you spot it coming or going) is

https://massmoca.org/event/don-gummer-primary-separation/

I like that even better, and I generally enjoy Mass Moca much more, even tho I don’t care for the kind of art that is at Mass Moca. When we took A. there, I wondered if she was going to get anything out of the exhibits, but when we were looking at a really incredible pink exhibit about racism and spaces for having fun:

https://massmoca.org/event/ej-hill/

She asked, “who decides who gets to ride in it?”, which pretty much indicated that the message the artist was sending most definitely had been received.

When we were in Heerenveen, R. and I walked over to the local museum, not having any idea what to expect. It was much better than I would have expected (if I had expected anything), but the weirdest part of it was all the stuff about Ferdinand Domela Nieuwenhuis, who I had not previously ever heard of. They had a bunch of his library including the furniture, pictures, ephemera, you name it. Just learning about that guy was worth the trip, but the attic exhibit in the same museum was set up like a grandparents’ attic, but organized and with captions. Lots of Meccano. Oh, and another section of it was an escape room. (We did not attempt the escape room. Frysland can be a bit tiring, because often the two languages in use are Dutch and Frisian, and English can be entirely absent. I’ve thought about doing an escape room in another language, but haven’t yet gotten the courage to attempt it. We did one in Yorkshire a couple years ago that was fun, tho.) One of the temporary exhibits was by a young Groningen artist who makes things that look kind of like icons on a computer, but when you start to grasp what’s going on, it all looks more than a little naughty in a very characteristically Dutch way. They also had a 80 year retrospective about the end of the war. Small towns really want to make sure you don’t forget who cooperated with the occupiers. Sometimes I think museums in small towns and provinces are the best museums of all. They have nothing to lose, so they might as well do what they think is worth doing.

-=-=-=-

I got a really sweet message from the metal artist about how excited he is to be working on our project. I can definitely see how E. and S. have been friends for decades.

R. has been in Europe for 3 weeks and we were there for 2. But we’re all back now, and T.’s home from summer camp so I’ll be catching up on blogging, but probably not right now.

I got up this morning at 6 ish in Citadines Trafalgar Square and finished packing up, drank some tea, did some Duo, got A. moving. We got checked out and while I was checking out, the prebooked Uber showed a driver would be arriving in time.

And then it went back to no assigned drive. Ugh. I waited until the official arrival time, still no assigned driver. I was charged for this trip last night, too! I tried calling, but was unable to reach anyone, because it kept looping on who I was and I gave up after the second round, probably because I was interacting with Uber UK and my account is US. But who knows! I went back into the hotel and they called a cab, and we got to Gatwick in within a few minutes of when I was aiming for, for less than 10% more. Lesson learned. Literally never use Uber in London. I knew not to Uber from St Pancras, but apparently it’s just an overall rule. Also, you don’t even need to set up an account to ride the metro; phone worked great for tap in / tap out.

Gatwick is a completely manageable sized airport. I’ve never been to Heathrow, and while I wasn’t committed to avoiding it, I was interested in avoiding it if possible and I have no regrets. We had a nonstop Jetblue to Boston and it was delightful in every way, just like the one I took with A. to Schiphol. It’s literally the only flights I’ve ever taken her on where she was genuinely comfortable and happy, and where I could actually get some meaningful sleep (or, today, naps).

I had already downloaded and filled in the mobile passport app stuff before arriving, so it was just photos, and we got through customs and pass control wicked fast. We did have to wait for R.’s bag to show up. We were driving home during rush hour, but it was not too bad. I’m now doing laundry, and am mostly unpacked. But I’m going to bed soon, because I’ve been up since 1 am eastern, so already over 18 hours. Even with naps, that’s kind of a lot for me.

R and I got up at a reasonable hour because we actually went to bed at a reasonable hour after having dinner at a reasonable hour. Delightful!

After breakfast (I had the last of the pave chocolate from liberte in Paris and he had a croissant from Chestnut) we went to Piccadilly Circus. We stopped at Ole and Steen on the way (a Danish bakery) and bought some goodies. I had the plant based social right away. He had a cinnamon scroll. We bought almond pastries (egg but not milk) for tomorrow morning. I had suggested Farzi, but that wasn’t going to work so we discussed Jain restaurants and found Sagar (by the Harold Pinter theater, which had John Lithgow playing Roald Dahl in Giant). We had samosa, pappadum and pani puri (“Small crispy poori served with chickpeas, sour & spicy consomme”). Everything was extremely yummy.

We came back to the hotel to retrieve A. and then hopefully to the National Gallery for an hour before dinner at Hawksmoor Seven Dials and (fingers crossed) and early night again.

We headed out to the National Gallery but it had been long enough since breakfast for A. that she wanted more food. So we went back (it was now around 2 pm), and I fed her apple, cheese, water, nuts, chicken, strawberries, carrots and lettuce. Sort of a deconstructed salad. I think she finished off the baguette, too. Then we tried again, and this time we made it to the National Gallery. She didn’t like a lot of stuff, but she continues to enjoy looking for the trick with impressionist paintings, and she liked the Finnish post impressionist painting that I did, and also the woman artist self-portrait. She didn’t like the Rosa Bonheur as much as I do.

We got a brief rest at the hotel, and then walked over to Hawksmoor, where we split a Chateaubriand for 2, but for all 3 of us. We got skinny and not-skinny fries, and heritage tomatoes and sourdough bread (that was quite good — I mean it all was, but I keep laughing at how good the bread is here in England because post-France the expectation was that it wouldn’t be). R. got a port and I forget what dessert. A. got a chocolate ganache with those crunchy lacy things that I thought were mille feuille but are not and now I don’t know what they are called but I want to learn how to make them. We had a carafe of English wine and I ordered incorrectly because I wound up with more than I expected and it cost a lot more than I expected (90) but it does not matter at all. A. keeps liking the apple juice at restaurants and not liking what I buy at the shops and I have no idea why that keeps happening.

R’s comment on the meal was that the only way it could have been improved was asparagus. We’ve had better food at steakhouses, but it was so comfortable, and we all ate the same thing (A. did not eat any tomatoes) and the sound and light environment were really great, both while it was empty when we first arrived and towards the end when it was mostly full.

We walked back, but A. was in a mood and I wanted to take pictures and check out bakeries and it took a while to negotiate that. After we dropped her off (without a pastry for her morning meal, because she was such an ass that we couldn’t really find something that I was excited about), we went in search of a cocktail bar. I’d wanted to go to the Alchemist, but didn’t want to walk back in that direction again, so we tried a Tequila Mockingbird, but it’s Monday and it was empty and loud, which is the worst combination in a bar. It took us a while to figure out how to get into Larry’s in the basement of the Portrait Gallery, but they had great jazz on their playlist, and a vegan dessert (chocolate layer cake in a cube covered with coconut) and I had what was supposedly an old-fashioned, but they had a sprayer for the bitters and they made it with two different kinds of scotch and house made “cereal syrup”. It was excellent. The place was empty, which was fine by me, other than a couple Russians. Figures they’d find this place.

It was an expensive, but remarkable day. When I think back to the museum expeditions of my younger years, and how many hours I spent in museums, and how difficult it was to find food I could eat or find a place to sit down, and compare that to how I now typically spend less than an hour in the museum and I use google to help me figure out which rooms have pictures I want to look at, and then go spend ludicrous amounts of money eating divine food and drinking tasty beverages, being old just seems absolutely wonderful.

We got up. I sent R. over to Liberte bakery. We ate, packed up and got an Uber Van to Gare Du Nord shortly after 11 (checkout time). No traffic to speak of, so we got there in plenty of time, so we found a place to sit until it was time to check and go through pass control. A. was pretty distressed by the crowds and it was still kind of warm.

We had a table on the train, and our 4th was a Texan who was very low key, from Houston, and fun to chat with. The train ride was enjoyable and uneventful and going through the Chunnel was just a long tunnel and honestly not even that long. Altho you do feel the pressure change coming out, for sure.

St. Pancras was crowded and it was Pride in London, so the taxi took as close as he could but a lot of streets were closed. Which was fine, because we walked and the crowds were fun. Citadines is nice — a little bit of damp but not too bad. I did some laundry and started the dryer, and we went to dinner at Ochre. The steak was marinated and the burger was spiced so A. got the chicken schnitzel and apparently that was fantastic. I got the vegan minestrone and the curried cauliflower. I was still pretty hungry, because while I had breakfast and snacked on baguette and pave du chocolate, I hadn’t really had a meal until it was dinner time. I had the Nikka “from the bottle” not as good as the Nikka coffey from Fugue, but good.

After we dropped A. back at the hotel and retrieved the (mostly) dry laundry, R. and I went to Sibin at the Hyatt where we had a lot of whisky — some Indian, a Taiwanese, Scandinavian. I had a vieux carre which was really wonderful. We had the charcuterie, nuts and the valrhona house chocolate bar with pecans. I had too much to eat and drink, but was able to sleep, altho A. went to bed really, really late. I bought tickets for R. and me to see Operation Mincement, and adjusted the 40 Elephants reservation earlier, so that we could be done in plenty of time for the show. It’ll be a busy but fun last day in London.

I have long used the phrase, “Wants Don’t Have Whys”. I developed it for my children, altho I had believed the underlying principle since I was a teenager, mulishly stubborn in feeling a certain way and resistant to efforts to try to convince me I didn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t or was somehow wrong for feeling that way. I don’t mean, hey, you are yawning, perhaps you need a nap, you only got a few hours sleep last night because you were up late and early after. That is a want (not enough sleep that must be remediated) that has a why (happens on the regular, and there was a supply gap). But that’s not what I mean by Wants Don’t Have Whys. That’s just a “why now”, not a “why at all”. And I don’t know that we really understand still the need for sleep. I didn’t invent it for the basic needs to sleep or eat — I invented it for things like, I am attracted to or are charmed by this person and not that person, or this pastry and not that pickle. Trying to convince someone with persuasive argument and/or logic that they don’t really love german chocolate cake is, well, just don’t do it. And even more so for who they find attractive. I have long distinguished between things that are good or well done, but which I don’t care for, and the things that I like, in an effort to meet people halfway but I probably could have skipped that and gone straight to, whatever, dude, I hate it.

Anyway. New one! Tools Not Rules. I’ve been using the idea of a “frame” to figure out which set of principles / rules / guidelines to apply in a given situation; it replaced a hierarchy with jurisdictional components which honestly didn’t work great for me. It dawned on me that instead of explaining this as different sets of principles / rules / guidelines, I could just, whatever, dude, I hate rules. I use tools. And now the things I used to call principles / rules / guidelines are explicitly, hey try this and see if it’s helpful.

Tools Not Rules.

This is almost certainly wildly unclear and there will be misunderstandings galore (possibly in the comments) and I will attempt to elucidate to anyone who conveys their confusion or vehement disapproval, until I decide it reflects poorly on your character and I don’t know you anyway and just go back to ignoring things that I view as someone very clearly being themselves and not requiring my involvement or assistance.

But I’m so happy to have another punchy tag! Tools Not Rules!

I took A. to Studios in the morning, with the full express pass and did the Spiderman ride, Crush’s Coster, Ratatouille, Twilight Zone. R. did Cars Road Trip with us, and the earth quake, burning fuel tanker and flash flood really drives home how they are completely referencing Universal Studios Tram ride with Road Trip.

A. did the parachute drop, which was so calm it almost wasn’t a drop ride. Cute theming tho.

A. and I had lunch at Hollywood Gardens and I got the Holly-Red burger, which was weird but pretty good. I also had the Magnum Vegan which was awesome. It was 90 when we left. Ugh.

I cooked the rest of the food (the other half of the steak, the other piece of chicken) and served it to the three of us for a light dinner. We followed it up with cookies and other baked goodies on Main Street when we went back to the park.

We went to DisneyLand in the evening and did Star Tours, Small World, I did Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. R. and I did Hyperspace Mountain, which I regretted. He used A.’s express pass since it has a barrel roll and she was not interested.

Went to DisneyLand. A. was difficult. We did Phantom Manor twice and took pictures and looked at the Lair of the Dragon which was awesome. A. and I really, really, really enjoyed that. It would have been a miserable day otherwise. Pirates of the Caribbean was being refurbished, as was Buzz Lightyear.

We had lunch at Annette’s Diner. A. had the chicken wings and celery and I had a burger and fries. Way too many burgers and fries on this trip already.

R. and I got an uber to a Carrefour and I bought groceries so we could feed A. and sometimes us at the hotel.

We went back to DisneyLand in the evening and did Star Tours, and the Mysteries of the Nautilus, which like the Lair of the Dragon was really awesome.

I bought some bakery items to bring to my cousin once removed A. R. and I had coffee with her. PJ joined us, and we heard the story of what happened to H and PJ’s first daughter (who died at 15 days), and how PJ’s biological mother (alcoholic) left and could not attend the funeral because she had a cruise scheduled. H. and A. did not get along and H wanted a different mother-in-law and that didn’t work out either. Ouch. Tough tough tough.

Very nice to see both of them.

Lunch at Ferron — Italian, well-traveled, hired a local baker to produce real Italian bread with a view to producing Italian food that fits into Frisian expectations. Results are excellent, and really interesting — unusual to see someone other than Asians taking this approach, but it’s always interesting and often amazing. I got the Oedipus Thai Thai (beer) which was tasty but handed it over to Roland because it had lemongrass in it. He got a Rochefort Trappist, which I wound up finishing.

R. and I walked over to the Heerenveen museum which was unexpectedly awesome. A longtime apotheker’s display was in the gift shop. There was some interesting modern art, some of it looking kinda kinky in an iconic apple sort of way. There was a ton of stuff — library, office furniture, artwork — that once belonged to and/or pertained to the life of Ferdinand Domela Nieuwenhuis, an atheist socialist activist. He didn’t go by Ferdinand, but since he was also antimilitary, it got me wondering about Munro Leaf’s book for the kiddos. Is this yet another reference I failed to recognize. Early person to be cremated in Westerveld. 100% not expecting to learn that much about socialism in Heerenveen. The attic of the museum includes a puzzle / escape room! But mostly, it’s a display made to look like it could be someone’s attic where all kinds of old things are stashed. I was especially excited to see a bunch of Meccano, but R. was more interested in the enormous plane (for wood working). There was also a room about the 80th anniversary of the German occupation ending (that was not in the attic).

Dinner in Wolvega at ‘T Stad Huys Grand Cafe. My chair lost a leg towards the end. Yikes! A’s steak was not medium rare — it was rare. I ate the middle part. Fries were good. I had the vegan stew and it was good. Baked potatoes were really good. R. had an Advocaat, and A. got the apple streudel with vanilla saus, vanilla ice cream and vanilla whipped cream. I had a Belgian dubbel and a local Trippel (Gudzekop, maybe?).